Well, my hubby has taken the job with Swift an over the road trucking company. He will be leaving for orientation either next week Nov 18th or Dec 9th.
I know this brings a lot more change in my life but I feel that God has helped me prepare for this.
My first step was starting Paul McKenna's system back in March, and then come June my hubby got laid off. Then that same morning he came home from being laid off he got signed up to go to school to get his class A CDL licence. It's been 5 months and he passed his test and now has his licence.
Along the way I joined the great community at the Paul McKenna site back in July. I was feeling great and losing weight and there wasn't anyone to help share in the excitement and to understand all my life changing experiences. Going to that community and becoming one of them helped fill a void in my life.
I was no longer feeling alone and have been able to see that my changes and experiences actually help others to change and experience thing. A circle of new friends and a new addition to my family.
So now with more changing on the horizon I know that I will make it threw and this will only help me to be stronger. My hubby going over the road will not be for ever, just until he can get the experience he needs to find the right job close to home and home nightly and not just 2 times a month.
I so very grateful to have made friends with all of you. Thank you and I am not going to ever stop saying thank you!
From my heart I thank you!
Jamie
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Fears to moving forward
In reading Roses post on the through thick and thin blog I have been going back and thinking up the excuses I used to have why I can't lose weight and be successful on any diet.
Of coarse when you first hear of Paul's system you think great I have no will power, how the heck am I supposed to do this? What if I don't lose weight? Well, it wouldn't hurt to just give it a try. Heck I am already over weight and stuck in this spot in my life why not.
In talking to some friends that are trying to lose weight and knowing they want it so badly and yet when they ask about how to start or go about fallowing Paul McKenna's program if they are not truly ready for the life change it's almost like an automatic defence mode and the excuses pop up to why they would fail before they even try.
One things that most irritates me is that people work in all different environments and I've found that the attack on me of being a stay at home mom w/ a daycare should be the easy way to lose weight. Now I never say to anyone that they have it easy because of their job situation. I know that everyone has all sorts of stress and things that need to be worked through.
I have these 2 friends that both want to lose weight, one is ready and understands the idea of everything and wants me to help her. The other when we were talking about weight loss in general seemed like she was on the attack about everything. My hubby sounded just like that at first. They in a way would say, well you have it easy your at home all day and don't have to worry about when you get a lunch break and how long you have to eat.
I get so irked by that because, I am around food and have it right there when ever I wanted it. That is part of the problem to my being over weight. I was the one hiding in the pantry because I never made the time to enjoy the food I really wanted to have. I was the one who was snaking along with the kids because the food was there. I was the one nibbling endlessly while putting the food together for the kids and when it came time to eating my meal I ate even thought I wasn't hungry anymore.
Fear of over eating all day. I know what others feel as fear is starvation. Worrying about when they will get their meal and how long it will take.
We all have a fear but that is what is making us over weight. We need to slow down and think how can we fix this problem.
Mine is doing the best I can not to nibble when hungry hold off and I will truly enjoy each bite and just because the food is there doesn't mean I need to eat it. Trying my best to hold off and when it's a good time to eat when I know I will enjoy every bite then that will be my reward. Just because I am home with kids all day doesn't mean anything. I used them as my excuse to why I was gaining weight.
As for others like my hubby when he was working I would say you have control over what food is around you. You pack your own meals to eat just enjoy what time you do have when you are eating. When you slow down your eating and pay attention it doesn't take 20min to eat a meal. Your shrinking your stomach how much food do you think it takes? Bring things that don't take long to prep before eating. Stop fearing the starvation and look at what you have to work with.
No matter where you work once you start eating what and how your body wants you will find so much more energy and in turn probably start working better and have a clearer head after your break. Which will lead to more steps on the pedometer. Making extra steps to the copier or taking the stairs more. Even just stopping for a couple of min out of your day and march in place (works great when things are a little stressed) pump them legs and arms and watch the steam drain out of your head.
I feel much better now, I've had these thoughts bottled up for a while now and just had to share them.
Jamie
Of coarse when you first hear of Paul's system you think great I have no will power, how the heck am I supposed to do this? What if I don't lose weight? Well, it wouldn't hurt to just give it a try. Heck I am already over weight and stuck in this spot in my life why not.
In talking to some friends that are trying to lose weight and knowing they want it so badly and yet when they ask about how to start or go about fallowing Paul McKenna's program if they are not truly ready for the life change it's almost like an automatic defence mode and the excuses pop up to why they would fail before they even try.
One things that most irritates me is that people work in all different environments and I've found that the attack on me of being a stay at home mom w/ a daycare should be the easy way to lose weight. Now I never say to anyone that they have it easy because of their job situation. I know that everyone has all sorts of stress and things that need to be worked through.
I have these 2 friends that both want to lose weight, one is ready and understands the idea of everything and wants me to help her. The other when we were talking about weight loss in general seemed like she was on the attack about everything. My hubby sounded just like that at first. They in a way would say, well you have it easy your at home all day and don't have to worry about when you get a lunch break and how long you have to eat.
I get so irked by that because, I am around food and have it right there when ever I wanted it. That is part of the problem to my being over weight. I was the one hiding in the pantry because I never made the time to enjoy the food I really wanted to have. I was the one who was snaking along with the kids because the food was there. I was the one nibbling endlessly while putting the food together for the kids and when it came time to eating my meal I ate even thought I wasn't hungry anymore.
Fear of over eating all day. I know what others feel as fear is starvation. Worrying about when they will get their meal and how long it will take.
We all have a fear but that is what is making us over weight. We need to slow down and think how can we fix this problem.
Mine is doing the best I can not to nibble when hungry hold off and I will truly enjoy each bite and just because the food is there doesn't mean I need to eat it. Trying my best to hold off and when it's a good time to eat when I know I will enjoy every bite then that will be my reward. Just because I am home with kids all day doesn't mean anything. I used them as my excuse to why I was gaining weight.
As for others like my hubby when he was working I would say you have control over what food is around you. You pack your own meals to eat just enjoy what time you do have when you are eating. When you slow down your eating and pay attention it doesn't take 20min to eat a meal. Your shrinking your stomach how much food do you think it takes? Bring things that don't take long to prep before eating. Stop fearing the starvation and look at what you have to work with.
No matter where you work once you start eating what and how your body wants you will find so much more energy and in turn probably start working better and have a clearer head after your break. Which will lead to more steps on the pedometer. Making extra steps to the copier or taking the stairs more. Even just stopping for a couple of min out of your day and march in place (works great when things are a little stressed) pump them legs and arms and watch the steam drain out of your head.
I feel much better now, I've had these thoughts bottled up for a while now and just had to share them.
Jamie
Friday, October 17, 2008
Little unthought of changes
I keep wanting to write this down and just haven't gotten to it yet.
A couple of weeks ago, I was laying on my living room floor being the mommy jungle gym that I am. My oldest Isabelle decided to give me one of her deep tissue back massage by standing on my back. She does a pretty good job and uses her little toes and works out a lot of kinks.
Anyways while she was doing that she stopped and said yew mommy what is that, and paused and moved her little foot around a bit more and was shocked she was like oh I can feel your bones.
That made me happy knowing I must be losing inches on my back. I love having the kids around they are so outspoken and you know they mean what they say. Of coarse there are times the words they choose can be hurtful but they just don't understand all the meanings yet.
They have been such great little motivators for me through this whole process. The boy I babysit has said on walks, Jamie you are looking smaller, your belly isn't as big as it used to be. Or now that I walk him to school just about every morning he said just the other day I know why you like to walk me to school, for the exercise right? I said yes because walking is good for your heart to help you stay healthy and strong.
My oldest has said things here and there about how my clothes like when they are getting too big and saying you need to buy some smaller ones. She is a great personal trainer too she enjoys working out with me of coarse there are somethings I do with her that is more fun for her and makes me have to work harder but is great for my work out. My son will do things like that too.
I'm just so happy to be showing these kids the healthy side of my life. Who knows how they would have ended up if I continued to gain.
My kids are my motivation, they are my dependents meaning they couldn't live with out me or some one to help them with everything. If I am not healthy and can't be there for them then I have failed. I am stronger & healthier mentally and physically.
Today is my 27th birthday and my 26th year was all about starting to improve myself and I have accomplished a lot. I am so proud of who I am and who I am becoming. So I am going to make this 27th year rock out all the years gone by. So many of them I have wasted by feeling sorry, lonely and lost in myself. No more live life to it's fullest!
Jamie
A couple of weeks ago, I was laying on my living room floor being the mommy jungle gym that I am. My oldest Isabelle decided to give me one of her deep tissue back massage by standing on my back. She does a pretty good job and uses her little toes and works out a lot of kinks.
Anyways while she was doing that she stopped and said yew mommy what is that, and paused and moved her little foot around a bit more and was shocked she was like oh I can feel your bones.
That made me happy knowing I must be losing inches on my back. I love having the kids around they are so outspoken and you know they mean what they say. Of coarse there are times the words they choose can be hurtful but they just don't understand all the meanings yet.
They have been such great little motivators for me through this whole process. The boy I babysit has said on walks, Jamie you are looking smaller, your belly isn't as big as it used to be. Or now that I walk him to school just about every morning he said just the other day I know why you like to walk me to school, for the exercise right? I said yes because walking is good for your heart to help you stay healthy and strong.
My oldest has said things here and there about how my clothes like when they are getting too big and saying you need to buy some smaller ones. She is a great personal trainer too she enjoys working out with me of coarse there are somethings I do with her that is more fun for her and makes me have to work harder but is great for my work out. My son will do things like that too.
I'm just so happy to be showing these kids the healthy side of my life. Who knows how they would have ended up if I continued to gain.
My kids are my motivation, they are my dependents meaning they couldn't live with out me or some one to help them with everything. If I am not healthy and can't be there for them then I have failed. I am stronger & healthier mentally and physically.
Today is my 27th birthday and my 26th year was all about starting to improve myself and I have accomplished a lot. I am so proud of who I am and who I am becoming. So I am going to make this 27th year rock out all the years gone by. So many of them I have wasted by feeling sorry, lonely and lost in myself. No more live life to it's fullest!
Jamie
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Another goal reached!
Looking back and remember the feeling of no hope I didn't think I would ever see the day when I would wear my size 14's again. Before I started with Paul Mckenna's system I was in a size 22/24 and the thought of seeing size 14 was so far out there.
I have learned much in this new journey of mine and making small goals along the way will bring you to the ultimate goal you first set out to hit. I can say I never imagined how great it would feel to have gone through this and it was all me. I have control and I love trust and listen to my body.
I have been keeping tabs on where my body is at. I keep trying on my size 14 jeans. Just a few weeks ago I was excited because I was able to get them up and on and zip and button them. Now today I am confortable to say that I am a size 14. I tried on them jeans and they fit comfortably enough where I feel I can actually wear them!
I never thought about size 12 or even 10. Now I am, my new goal will be 12's. And I know I can do it. I know I still have more weight to lose, but I have achieved so much that if I don't make it there for a while I am so happy with all that I have come through.
You always hear people say if I can do it you can to. I used to hate hearing that because I didn't believe in myself. I thought up all those silly excuses why I can't. I don't have time, I don't have the will power, I hate to exercise and so on.
Not anymore. I started to change my thinking. I want to be healthy for me & my family. I want to keep that passion of growing love going between me and my husband. I want to show everyone that thinks that it can't be done that it can be. My strength comes from my heart and I want people to see me and not the shell I used to hide under.
I love to exercise and I have never eaten this healthy in my life. It is all naturally happening. It is a miracle that came from me, not a pill or diet.
I've never been a size 10. I was in a size 12 for like one month in high school I'd love to be there or maybe pass that. We will see where my body wants me to be. One day at a time and go with the flow.
Jamie
I have learned much in this new journey of mine and making small goals along the way will bring you to the ultimate goal you first set out to hit. I can say I never imagined how great it would feel to have gone through this and it was all me. I have control and I love trust and listen to my body.
I have been keeping tabs on where my body is at. I keep trying on my size 14 jeans. Just a few weeks ago I was excited because I was able to get them up and on and zip and button them. Now today I am confortable to say that I am a size 14. I tried on them jeans and they fit comfortably enough where I feel I can actually wear them!
I never thought about size 12 or even 10. Now I am, my new goal will be 12's. And I know I can do it. I know I still have more weight to lose, but I have achieved so much that if I don't make it there for a while I am so happy with all that I have come through.
You always hear people say if I can do it you can to. I used to hate hearing that because I didn't believe in myself. I thought up all those silly excuses why I can't. I don't have time, I don't have the will power, I hate to exercise and so on.
Not anymore. I started to change my thinking. I want to be healthy for me & my family. I want to keep that passion of growing love going between me and my husband. I want to show everyone that thinks that it can't be done that it can be. My strength comes from my heart and I want people to see me and not the shell I used to hide under.
I love to exercise and I have never eaten this healthy in my life. It is all naturally happening. It is a miracle that came from me, not a pill or diet.
I've never been a size 10. I was in a size 12 for like one month in high school I'd love to be there or maybe pass that. We will see where my body wants me to be. One day at a time and go with the flow.
Jamie
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Getting rid of the clutter!
I know not dealing with the clutter that takes up room in my house is just eating away at me. I know putting things to one side to deal with later just makes things add up. If you think about it it shows all over you too.
With out dealing with it sooner it leaves time for dust to settle leaving it all the more harder to deal with. Learning that baby step and taking things slow, tackle one thing at a time.
So I wrote my list, first I just wrote down the things that bugged me most. Then I put them in order of which one needs to be done first. Thinking of daily life and when I am in the moment of getting tings ready what is the obstacle that is standing in my way and would make life just that much easier?
My bedroom was the number one. When we first built our house we had put our big desk in our master bed room. Then it got out of control trying to use the computer or do things at the desk. The desk was more of a dumping ground than anything. So, we got a laptop this past Christmas and got rid of the desk.
The problem wasn't completely solved because then there were the boxes that held all the stuff from the desk just sitting there in the corner waiting to be sorted. Of coarse the longer it sat the more we added to that pile of needing to be sorted stuff.
Yesterday was a great day. I had my list and I knew what I wanted to do first. Taking my new tools that helped me with food, I put them to use with cleaning. I hung a sign to remind me, I am cleaning the BED ROOM to be a bedroom not storage! So anytime I was tempted to give in and say I'll put this here and do it later, I'd look up and see it and it reminded me how great it will feel to have space to walk and have a bed room again!
To think all this is stemming from the basement, if I had never cleaned it out and started to organise things down there I wouldn't be able to find more storage space for thing. Now I can bring the al the clothes and sort them out in the basement were they wont be in the way and we have plenty of room to do it in now. We had 4 baskets of clothes that were either too small for the kids or needed to be stored for Gabby to use as she grows, even my pregnancy clothes. Do you know how great it felt to get the size 22 pants and frumpy clothes out of my way? I can't believe the amount of weight that has been lifted yet again.
Not only for tackling a couple of things on my list but for getting the scale out of my house! I even found an old scale it felt so great to be able to through it away! The other one I sent it of to my hubby's parents house. He's not ready to let it go yet. In time I am sure he will understand, I think we have gotten much better at complimenting and encouraging one another.
I also wrote myself reminders on my list. Things to think of because I know sometimes what I am thinking when going threw old things. How long has it been since we used this? Think, can you truly say you will use this with in the next year? You don't have to though everything away, you can put it in a yard sale, or simply donate it, just get it out!
Tackling one or two things once a week, or when I know I can handle it and not get over whelmed. That is key, because that is how the piles started in the first place. You go in all gunning for it and use up all your steam before the job is done and done right the first time.
Now I can take these feelings to the next thing on the list, just remember how great it feels to be getting things in order and get rid of the extra baggage.
Thank you for reading, and I hope I may have been of some help to others out there with clutter problems.
Be Well
Jamie
With out dealing with it sooner it leaves time for dust to settle leaving it all the more harder to deal with. Learning that baby step and taking things slow, tackle one thing at a time.
So I wrote my list, first I just wrote down the things that bugged me most. Then I put them in order of which one needs to be done first. Thinking of daily life and when I am in the moment of getting tings ready what is the obstacle that is standing in my way and would make life just that much easier?
My bedroom was the number one. When we first built our house we had put our big desk in our master bed room. Then it got out of control trying to use the computer or do things at the desk. The desk was more of a dumping ground than anything. So, we got a laptop this past Christmas and got rid of the desk.
The problem wasn't completely solved because then there were the boxes that held all the stuff from the desk just sitting there in the corner waiting to be sorted. Of coarse the longer it sat the more we added to that pile of needing to be sorted stuff.
Yesterday was a great day. I had my list and I knew what I wanted to do first. Taking my new tools that helped me with food, I put them to use with cleaning. I hung a sign to remind me, I am cleaning the BED ROOM to be a bedroom not storage! So anytime I was tempted to give in and say I'll put this here and do it later, I'd look up and see it and it reminded me how great it will feel to have space to walk and have a bed room again!
To think all this is stemming from the basement, if I had never cleaned it out and started to organise things down there I wouldn't be able to find more storage space for thing. Now I can bring the al the clothes and sort them out in the basement were they wont be in the way and we have plenty of room to do it in now. We had 4 baskets of clothes that were either too small for the kids or needed to be stored for Gabby to use as she grows, even my pregnancy clothes. Do you know how great it felt to get the size 22 pants and frumpy clothes out of my way? I can't believe the amount of weight that has been lifted yet again.
Not only for tackling a couple of things on my list but for getting the scale out of my house! I even found an old scale it felt so great to be able to through it away! The other one I sent it of to my hubby's parents house. He's not ready to let it go yet. In time I am sure he will understand, I think we have gotten much better at complimenting and encouraging one another.
I also wrote myself reminders on my list. Things to think of because I know sometimes what I am thinking when going threw old things. How long has it been since we used this? Think, can you truly say you will use this with in the next year? You don't have to though everything away, you can put it in a yard sale, or simply donate it, just get it out!
Tackling one or two things once a week, or when I know I can handle it and not get over whelmed. That is key, because that is how the piles started in the first place. You go in all gunning for it and use up all your steam before the job is done and done right the first time.
Now I can take these feelings to the next thing on the list, just remember how great it feels to be getting things in order and get rid of the extra baggage.
Thank you for reading, and I hope I may have been of some help to others out there with clutter problems.
Be Well
Jamie
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Just thinking
Wow, I can't believe all that Paul Mckenna has to offer us. So many people out there like me that have struggled with weight and just can't find the magic to make it all just disappear. We all wanted some pill or something that would make us wake up the next morning to start with a fresh thin body because it would make life so much easier and happier.
Who would ever think that we have that magic built right inside of us? It's been there all along and we just kept on smothering it with mindless eating and dieting.
I have been catching myself as I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a window, and say wow is that really me? I can't believe the changes and I am the one who did it! Last Saturday before my youngest daughter's first b-day party I was getting dressed and I was so excited because I was going to see people friends and family I haven't seen since Easter time. Not only to see what they might say about how my new shape is taking form but to see the real me starting to show from the inside.
I wasn't sure on which shirt to wear with my only size 16's I have, my capris,I wanted to be comfortable and not have something draped on and make me feel frumpy. I found an XL tank top (far from my 3X I've been wearing) I haven't worn in years and I felt good and was worried about how I could still see my top roll. Of coarse I was home with just my kids so it's not like they could reassure me or tell me if it looked like I painted my shirt on, I mean I knew it wasn't that bad but I always feel like I need others approval or opinions. So I stand there judging myself yet again, an old nasty habit. I stopped and really look. I started to get teary eyed and said Jamie what are you doing to yourself. Look at you, you look awesome. Just think how much fat isn't showing anymore and you feel it you know you do, your comfortable and you know you don' care what others think. You just lost 52 pounds in 5 months show it!
My mom came over to help me gather kids and stuff for the party up at her house and her face said it all when she first saw me. She basically said what I was thinking. So I felt even better after I had another opinion.
Every now and then I get this feeling like wow is this me? Is this really my body? I will reach to scratch my shoulder and acually feel a shoulder bone. Ya maybe still a little squishy but I can feel a bone. Or when I go to rub my eye or scratch my face and can actually feel my cheekbones or even just feel the difference in how it's not as squishy. Just taking little mental notes and letting them seep in is so motivating and makes me feel proud and with this new journey letting myself feel proud and happy for me, it's allowed.
I had to tighten up the draw strings again on my shorts today and that made me feel real good. I can't believe how much not only I have don e but for being able to witness that I am not alone. So many of us are going threw these changes and it's been so wonderful sharing it with all of you.
Wishing you well and a great journey
Jamie
Who would ever think that we have that magic built right inside of us? It's been there all along and we just kept on smothering it with mindless eating and dieting.
I have been catching myself as I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a window, and say wow is that really me? I can't believe the changes and I am the one who did it! Last Saturday before my youngest daughter's first b-day party I was getting dressed and I was so excited because I was going to see people friends and family I haven't seen since Easter time. Not only to see what they might say about how my new shape is taking form but to see the real me starting to show from the inside.
I wasn't sure on which shirt to wear with my only size 16's I have, my capris,I wanted to be comfortable and not have something draped on and make me feel frumpy. I found an XL tank top (far from my 3X I've been wearing) I haven't worn in years and I felt good and was worried about how I could still see my top roll. Of coarse I was home with just my kids so it's not like they could reassure me or tell me if it looked like I painted my shirt on, I mean I knew it wasn't that bad but I always feel like I need others approval or opinions. So I stand there judging myself yet again, an old nasty habit. I stopped and really look. I started to get teary eyed and said Jamie what are you doing to yourself. Look at you, you look awesome. Just think how much fat isn't showing anymore and you feel it you know you do, your comfortable and you know you don' care what others think. You just lost 52 pounds in 5 months show it!
My mom came over to help me gather kids and stuff for the party up at her house and her face said it all when she first saw me. She basically said what I was thinking. So I felt even better after I had another opinion.
Every now and then I get this feeling like wow is this me? Is this really my body? I will reach to scratch my shoulder and acually feel a shoulder bone. Ya maybe still a little squishy but I can feel a bone. Or when I go to rub my eye or scratch my face and can actually feel my cheekbones or even just feel the difference in how it's not as squishy. Just taking little mental notes and letting them seep in is so motivating and makes me feel proud and with this new journey letting myself feel proud and happy for me, it's allowed.
I had to tighten up the draw strings again on my shorts today and that made me feel real good. I can't believe how much not only I have don e but for being able to witness that I am not alone. So many of us are going threw these changes and it's been so wonderful sharing it with all of you.
Wishing you well and a great journey
Jamie
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Ah it's so great
I am so happy to have gotten my hair cut. It was well deserved and fits well into the new me. I know I have kind of a goofy look on my face in my new picture. I was trying to take it myself and I felt silly no matter what I did my smile didn't look natural. So I did some silly faces and I think this was the better out of a few.
Thank you to all you lovely ladies for all your support and guidance. I can't wait to read more of your lovely blogs. Keep on writing!
Best wishes and always Smile!
Jamie
Thank you to all you lovely ladies for all your support and guidance. I can't wait to read more of your lovely blogs. Keep on writing!
Best wishes and always Smile!
Jamie
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