Finding ME!

I have started a new journey and my life is now thriving with new findings. I am finding me! Who I really am. It has been 4 and 1/2 months and I feel I have come a long way in such a short time.
In that time I have lost 48lbs and have a new look at how I have been living my life in a shell. I am learning more and more how to rid myself of my shell. The only way to fix me was to think way back to things that I had buried long ago.
You know when looking at kids and trying to put things simply worded so they can understand and find the correct feelings to match. Well I found that I remember when I was a kid, people were always saying she's over weight and she should start watching what she eats. I remember being at the doctors office and them handing my mom a paper of foods I should stick to and try and keep me away from junk and stuff.
I don't know of my sister and brothers struggles if they even had any with weight growing up. To me they always seemed able to take care of losing the weight and didn't seem much to fuss about back then. I just remember me, I was a kid and how they think. I had no clue what they meant about being over weight, I new I was bigger than other kids but I didn't know why. I can remember kids say oh, Jamie's strong look at her arms how big they are, and how big she is. It was nothing at the time, but when the remarks got harsher and harsher as got older I didn't know how to fix it. Burring myself deeper into a hole. I was already pretty shy but I think I felt safer with food and it helped me to pull away.
Just the other day I was talking with my mom a little about me new finding of my past on whats holding me back, and another thing that happened was I had told her was how I remember always being told I had to finish my food before I even thought of having dessert. I don't blame them because that is how they were raised and their parents were raised during the depression. Food is so readily available these days and the cheaper foods are junk. So no wonder we are all struggling. I also told her that I used to sneak up to the kitchen either when no one was around or sleeping and sneak food to me room. I don't know weather if it was my way of getting a thrill out of trying not to get caught or a way of trying to get attention. Watching my kids watch me and starting to notice little things like because something is there it needs to be eaten. I knew I was really struggling and need to fix it so that my kids don't suffer the way I have.
So, the begging of March I watched on TLC series by Paul McKenna, "I can make you thin". He is a hypnotist but he doesnt hypnotise you, he helps you to learn how to re-boot your mind and pay attention to what you want. It is a simple thing to do. You just need to learn to let go and trust yourself and learn to love yourself. It isn't a diet it is a life style change. You learn that everything your body does is controlled by YOUR mind and YOU have control over it. Don't let other people tell you when to eat what to eat, they don't know your body the way you should know it. We live in a world that is growing on living life fast. We take the time to stop and fill our cars with the correct gas, and we know that if we over fill it it will make a mess, or if we don't fill it enough it will stop working or not go as far. So why treat your body any different.
So with that I highly suggest checking out his web site. Go to www.paulmckenna.com Everything on it is FREE! Start by clicking on the 4 Golden rules. I recently last week stumbled into his forums and there are so many people of many ages and different walks of life that are doing just as I am. There are many subjects listed and you can add your own and so much support from many people. I have made friends with a few ladies. It's been great finding people that understand and can help you to be motivated and it really helps to share your story, and if your like me and have a hard time talking to people, it's great having the Internet, cause nobody knows what you look like and when you write things down it's the real you shining out from under the layers of skin. So I wish the best for anyone wanting to try out Paul's system.
The best advise I think I can give, don't be afraid to try it, don't shy away because your afraid you might not lose weight. Just jump in and do it, no more excuses and believe in your self. Giving up is the easy way out. But proving your self wrong is so much more rewarding.
Thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts, I think I will be keeping a lil blog journal, because it truly has help exposing all my feelings for all to see. I've always have been afraid to say things afraid of what people would say. I am slowly learning to forget all that and learning to let go.
Be well and God Bless!
Jamie (that's me)