Wow, I can't believe all that Paul Mckenna has to offer us. So many people out there like me that have struggled with weight and just can't find the magic to make it all just disappear. We all wanted some pill or something that would make us wake up the next morning to start with a fresh thin body because it would make life so much easier and happier.
Who would ever think that we have that magic built right inside of us? It's been there all along and we just kept on smothering it with mindless eating and dieting.
I have been catching myself as I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a window, and say wow is that really me? I can't believe the changes and I am the one who did it! Last Saturday before my youngest daughter's first b-day party I was getting dressed and I was so excited because I was going to see people friends and family I haven't seen since Easter time. Not only to see what they might say about how my new shape is taking form but to see the real me starting to show from the inside.
I wasn't sure on which shirt to wear with my only size 16's I have, my capris,I wanted to be comfortable and not have something draped on and make me feel frumpy. I found an XL tank top (far from my 3X I've been wearing) I haven't worn in years and I felt good and was worried about how I could still see my top roll. Of coarse I was home with just my kids so it's not like they could reassure me or tell me if it looked like I painted my shirt on, I mean I knew it wasn't that bad but I always feel like I need others approval or opinions. So I stand there judging myself yet again, an old nasty habit. I stopped and really look. I started to get teary eyed and said Jamie what are you doing to yourself. Look at you, you look awesome. Just think how much fat isn't showing anymore and you feel it you know you do, your comfortable and you know you don' care what others think. You just lost 52 pounds in 5 months show it!
My mom came over to help me gather kids and stuff for the party up at her house and her face said it all when she first saw me. She basically said what I was thinking. So I felt even better after I had another opinion.
Every now and then I get this feeling like wow is this me? Is this really my body? I will reach to scratch my shoulder and acually feel a shoulder bone. Ya maybe still a little squishy but I can feel a bone. Or when I go to rub my eye or scratch my face and can actually feel my cheekbones or even just feel the difference in how it's not as squishy. Just taking little mental notes and letting them seep in is so motivating and makes me feel proud and with this new journey letting myself feel proud and happy for me, it's allowed.
I had to tighten up the draw strings again on my shorts today and that made me feel real good. I can't believe how much not only I have don e but for being able to witness that I am not alone. So many of us are going threw these changes and it's been so wonderful sharing it with all of you.
Wishing you well and a great journey
Jamie
2 comments:
This was a great post! I love to see that even though those old tapes may start to run in your head, you are moving to a place of self-love and can rebuke those negative messages. It is wonderful to be able to witness your growth and the rise of your self-esteem and deservedly so, I might add! Thank you for sharing this experience. It put a smile on my face!
Jamie, you are an inspiration for me. Denise
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