the man with the hat
has so much energy
it just surrounds him
all blue and gold
oh the magic
the mystery
do you dare talk to the magic man
dreams are so powerful
some you don't remember
some you act on
and some you just wish were oh so true
the way the clouds
the rain and the air smell during a thunder storm
the amazing energy you feel
so full of something it makes your senses work on over time
the beauty of the lightning strike
the deep thundering boom that fallows
the way the sky lights up creating monsters of out of the clouds
oh man i just love a good thunderstorm
i want to embrace so much in life
some times i just don't know where to grab first
it's like binging a thunder storm
you hear it rumbling in
you feel the air pressure change
and wonder will it rain before it gets here?
big old fat rain? or just a trickling mist
the way the rain drops dance along the water
creating music as it drops and spreads into a pool of water
you ever go under water and just list to how the rain sounds
it's a sound not often heard so take it in and hold it close
just as you would soaks up the beautiful sun shine
nothing better than connecting with mother earth!
Friday, October 22, 2010
july 1,2010
disconnected and abused
her body is covered in blood
bruised and beaten
a single tear dry on her cheek
her world
so separated
scattered peaces
she rolls in the darkness
sadness guilt and anger
the pain I don't' not wish to feel is eating away at me
I am not sure where to turn
please help me I am drowning
today is not for me
I wish to see the sunshine again
for this pain is a slow torcher
breathing is tight
tears wont stop flowing
help me
my world is in crumbles
or so it feels that way
just for today
Happy thoughts.........
smiles moon light
and dancing in the rain
children's laughter
lighting bugs and crickets singing
I don not wish to drowned today
the world will not end
I will not die
this night mare will end
the way he smiles at me
I feel so safe
so warm
so complete
he is mine
OK thats about it I had to feel things and just let them out. I had a rough day yesterday and it bled into today. I feel not myself wounded and afraid. There is just so much going on emotionally it hit me like a ton of bricks! I fucking hate that!
But tomorrow is another day and I will keep on truckin and I will let feelings be felt. I just need a hug
her body is covered in blood
bruised and beaten
a single tear dry on her cheek
her world
so separated
scattered peaces
she rolls in the darkness
sadness guilt and anger
the pain I don't' not wish to feel is eating away at me
I am not sure where to turn
please help me I am drowning
today is not for me
I wish to see the sunshine again
for this pain is a slow torcher
breathing is tight
tears wont stop flowing
help me
my world is in crumbles
or so it feels that way
just for today
Happy thoughts.........
smiles moon light
and dancing in the rain
children's laughter
lighting bugs and crickets singing
I don not wish to drowned today
the world will not end
I will not die
this night mare will end
the way he smiles at me
I feel so safe
so warm
so complete
he is mine
OK thats about it I had to feel things and just let them out. I had a rough day yesterday and it bled into today. I feel not myself wounded and afraid. There is just so much going on emotionally it hit me like a ton of bricks! I fucking hate that!
But tomorrow is another day and I will keep on truckin and I will let feelings be felt. I just need a hug
june 23,2010
Not as they seem to be
Things are not always as they seem to be
you have this little girl with a wicked smile
the evil just seeping out
her eyes gleam with anticipation
the wickedness she holds
the lies
the anger
the horror
she can dream up just anything
any for of torcher
the power the control the greed
it's eating away at her soul
pink ponies
wild flowers in meadows
lost and never learned the joys
all left behind in a distant memory
laughter has it's evil
the sarcasm the bitter sound it chills
painted pictures of fallen angels
the wicked dreams she sees
the endless darkness
she smiles her little girl smile
but it's not as it seems
it should be held in joy
hope love and carefree dreams
but sadly not everything is as it seems
Things are not always as they seem to be
you have this little girl with a wicked smile
the evil just seeping out
her eyes gleam with anticipation
the wickedness she holds
the lies
the anger
the horror
she can dream up just anything
any for of torcher
the power the control the greed
it's eating away at her soul
pink ponies
wild flowers in meadows
lost and never learned the joys
all left behind in a distant memory
laughter has it's evil
the sarcasm the bitter sound it chills
painted pictures of fallen angels
the wicked dreams she sees
the endless darkness
she smiles her little girl smile
but it's not as it seems
it should be held in joy
hope love and carefree dreams
but sadly not everything is as it seems
april 7,2010
Straddling a line between mud and quicksand
wow wonderful choices
why such gloom my friend?
Shouldn't you feel joy
you have the freedom to chose
your body is strong enough
everything is functioning
you have life
Stop looking at the mud as a mess
a struggle
The quick sand is where you were coming from
you saw no hope
no way out
Your on the line my friend
the mud is your adventure
your hope
Trust in the body you have been given
strengthen your body
your soul
Stop looking at the mud and feeling guilt
you didn't know
How can you look at it with such pain and hard feelings
when all along you were told you shouldn't cross the line
it can't be done
it goes against the grain of all you have learned
My friend
you keep thinking the worst of things
the yin always has the yang to help keep balance
finding yourself on the darker side sinking into the quick sand?
Shift yourself
take a step in the mud look toward the light
When you get stuck stop!
There is no rush
whats the hurry
find the beauty and gather more strength
I'm sure your foot will loosen
you can once again put one foot in front and start moving along
Oh man it's so hard some times when you are feeling the guilt and like you have failed yourself and others. It gets you no where to allow yourself to continue with those feelings. Let them be heard breath into them and bring light into them.
Staying in them allowed ED control. When you give your freedom of being able to control ones self you have no more freedom no more control over your thoughts.
I need to change my vocab, no longer will I have rules but keep it simple. I don't even like to use guidelines. I stop myself and say keep it simple keep it natural or raw. Strip all labels from my thinking cause that's what it is, no matter how you dress the duck it's still a duck.
This week has been quite a week so far I am learning much about myself. I am seeing more change in me and how I know I am changing and healing ED is back and trying to take my freedom I will not hand it over.
My passed I had labels of success and failure, I refuse to let that leak int my life anymore. I no longer see it that way, there is adventure joy and learning. Simple unpaved roads have bumps and are dirty & curvy don't forget to add all of earth elements that is what's natural. Life was not meant to be a perfect spotless place, it would be rather boring don't ya think?
wow wonderful choices
why such gloom my friend?
Shouldn't you feel joy
you have the freedom to chose
your body is strong enough
everything is functioning
you have life
Stop looking at the mud as a mess
a struggle
The quick sand is where you were coming from
you saw no hope
no way out
Your on the line my friend
the mud is your adventure
your hope
Trust in the body you have been given
strengthen your body
your soul
Stop looking at the mud and feeling guilt
you didn't know
How can you look at it with such pain and hard feelings
when all along you were told you shouldn't cross the line
it can't be done
it goes against the grain of all you have learned
My friend
you keep thinking the worst of things
the yin always has the yang to help keep balance
finding yourself on the darker side sinking into the quick sand?
Shift yourself
take a step in the mud look toward the light
When you get stuck stop!
There is no rush
whats the hurry
find the beauty and gather more strength
I'm sure your foot will loosen
you can once again put one foot in front and start moving along
Oh man it's so hard some times when you are feeling the guilt and like you have failed yourself and others. It gets you no where to allow yourself to continue with those feelings. Let them be heard breath into them and bring light into them.
Staying in them allowed ED control. When you give your freedom of being able to control ones self you have no more freedom no more control over your thoughts.
I need to change my vocab, no longer will I have rules but keep it simple. I don't even like to use guidelines. I stop myself and say keep it simple keep it natural or raw. Strip all labels from my thinking cause that's what it is, no matter how you dress the duck it's still a duck.
This week has been quite a week so far I am learning much about myself. I am seeing more change in me and how I know I am changing and healing ED is back and trying to take my freedom I will not hand it over.
My passed I had labels of success and failure, I refuse to let that leak int my life anymore. I no longer see it that way, there is adventure joy and learning. Simple unpaved roads have bumps and are dirty & curvy don't forget to add all of earth elements that is what's natural. Life was not meant to be a perfect spotless place, it would be rather boring don't ya think?
march 10,2010
My spirit
My Soul
The Goddess with in me
is the the sun
My body the earth
My life the Moon
Darkness doesn't fall
It's just light fading away
or obstructed by another solid form
A shadow in the light
We as humans
As people
Have a great gift
A voice
Language
Freedom to express our selves
Watching nature
The way it holds to much magic
Planting a seed and watching it grow
The stars in the sky
or the way the moon glows
so bright and beautiful
when earth doesn't shadow it
It's amazing how much the earth
and yes the moon
need the sun
There is always a struggle to keep things positive but I am finding my ways. It takes work and it takes truth to finally let it all be free to except it and embrace this side of me. I am learning growing and healing.
As Shannon has told me Healing is Feeling
My Soul
The Goddess with in me
is the the sun
My body the earth
My life the Moon
Darkness doesn't fall
It's just light fading away
or obstructed by another solid form
A shadow in the light
We as humans
As people
Have a great gift
A voice
Language
Freedom to express our selves
Watching nature
The way it holds to much magic
Planting a seed and watching it grow
The stars in the sky
or the way the moon glows
so bright and beautiful
when earth doesn't shadow it
It's amazing how much the earth
and yes the moon
need the sun
There is always a struggle to keep things positive but I am finding my ways. It takes work and it takes truth to finally let it all be free to except it and embrace this side of me. I am learning growing and healing.
As Shannon has told me Healing is Feeling
march 4,2010
Healthy
Optimistic
People
Experiment
Laugh
Over stupid simple things
Visualize & give your dreams
Endless room to grow
Candle light
Reflects
Endless
Adventures
Take it
Enjoy it!
Lavish in it's warmth
Imagine, feel it
Veto the rules
Embrace freedom!
Optimistic
People
Experiment
Laugh
Over stupid simple things
Visualize & give your dreams
Endless room to grow
Candle light
Reflects
Endless
Adventures
Take it
Enjoy it!
Lavish in it's warmth
Imagine, feel it
Veto the rules
Embrace freedom!
feb 24,2010
I just want to be me
the gatekeepers wont let me in
hurt guilt and disappointed
will this fighting ever end
the closer I get
the meaner & uglier
the gatekeepers are
I just want to be me
no holding back
letting no one hold me back
I love my laugh
my smile
I want to shine
where is my voice?
it sounds so simple to just fight
to yell back and scream
it would be just too easy
just charge right through the gates
turn turn off sight and sound
I just want to be me
the gatekeepers wont let me in
hurt guilt and disappointed
will this fighting ever end
the closer I get
the meaner & uglier
the gatekeepers are
I just want to be me
no holding back
letting no one hold me back
I love my laugh
my smile
I want to shine
where is my voice?
it sounds so simple to just fight
to yell back and scream
it would be just too easy
just charge right through the gates
turn turn off sight and sound
I just want to be me
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