april 7,2010

Straddling a line between mud and quicksand
wow wonderful choices

why such gloom my friend?
Shouldn't you feel joy
you have the freedom to chose
your body is strong enough
everything is functioning
you have life

Stop looking at the mud as a mess
a struggle
The quick sand is where you were coming from
you saw no hope
no way out

Your on the line my friend
the mud is your adventure
your hope

Trust in the body you have been given
strengthen your body
your soul

Stop looking at the mud and feeling guilt
you didn't know

How can you look at it with such pain and hard feelings
when all along you were told you shouldn't cross the line
it can't be done
it goes against the grain of all you have learned

My friend
you keep thinking the worst of things
the yin always has the yang to help keep balance
finding yourself on the darker side sinking into the quick sand?
Shift yourself
take a step in the mud look toward the light

When you get stuck stop!
There is no rush
whats the hurry
find the beauty and gather more strength
I'm sure your foot will loosen
you can once again put one foot in front and start moving along


Oh man it's so hard some times when you are feeling the guilt and like you have failed yourself and others. It gets you no where to allow yourself to continue with those feelings. Let them be heard breath into them and bring light into them.

Staying in them allowed ED control. When you give your freedom of being able to control ones self you have no more freedom no more control over your thoughts.

I need to change my vocab, no longer will I have rules but keep it simple. I don't even like to use guidelines. I stop myself and say keep it simple keep it natural or raw. Strip all labels from my thinking cause that's what it is, no matter how you dress the duck it's still a duck.

This week has been quite a week so far I am learning much about myself. I am seeing more change in me and how I know I am changing and healing ED is back and trying to take my freedom I will not hand it over.

My passed I had labels of success and failure, I refuse to let that leak int my life anymore. I no longer see it that way, there is adventure joy and learning. Simple unpaved roads have bumps and are dirty & curvy don't forget to add all of earth elements that is what's natural. Life was not meant to be a perfect spotless place, it would be rather boring don't ya think?