Stepping stones

I have so much going on in my life right now. My hubby got the job with the trucking firm doing trucking over the road and we are not sure when he will be going out to start, so frustraiting not knowing when.

Then there is always the thought of money and the holidays. Of coarse running the household and paying bills, and then there were the changes at the McKenna site, but that has all been settled now (thanks to Shannon!)

But yesterday morning I was finding it hard to pull myself out of the emotional ball I felt like I was a water factory I kept getting teary eyed over thinking too much. So I thought about all the gatherings we or maybe just me and the kids will be attending this season. Starting with Thanks giving, I thought well, I don't have any dress up clothes. Man that broke out a spark, this year is so different! this time last year I was dreading to buy yet again new clothes because I didn't have any big enough to fit me.

I was feeling it getting excited about OK hubby is home I'll go shopping for a couple of new shirts not too dressy and some slacks. A few minutes before I was going to leave my mom called to tell me about a family meeting we are going to be having. My mem has been diagnosed with dementia (so wasn't my grammy she is in FL)and I guess there was some kinda argument or something about the new puppy at my mem & peps house and my mem's shoes got chewed up and she just had it, they had been looking to get rid of him he was too hiper for her. So my mem just up and walked out of the house and went on a walk. Ya it was dark and my pep called the police and my dad & uncle they were all looking for her.

I guess she was gone for about a half hour when finally she just walked back in the house. Luckily nothing happened this time. I mean I hear about all these other stories how people take the car and don't remember where they are or things like that. The Dr. just told her she can't drive anymore. Ya it's a big mess, and my pep isn't in good health either he has emphysema and a bad heart. He recovered from Colin cancer like 6 years ago.

So I left going to the store with so much on my mind, far from those good feelings I had finally started to spark. It was great I got in the store and was looking in the ladies section and was finding a few things. I kept on looking at this one shirt and was thinking ah no it's gonna be too clingy or not fit right I must have passed it like 5 times and finally said it wont hurt me to try it on. Think about it how many times have I tried something on and it not look right. I grabbed it and a couple of other shirts and a camisole and some really comfy dress pants.

I couldn't believe it! I got teary eyed again! But this time was because I have never once been able to just pull something off the rack an entire out fit and for the first time everything was amazing! I couldn't stop looking in the mirror. My eyes were so watery and I couldn't stop turning, plus the way the mirrors were I could see all of me behind and all.

I didn't feel fat I wasn't depressed because I had to settle with something that looked ok. I had on something I really liked no loved and it was right off the rack no going to grab the next size up or it just didn't fit right.

Bring on the parties people I'm ready to shine!

In that dressing room it helped remind me that everything will happen at it's own time. Just let it happen and tend to it as thing come along.

Keep trusting in your faith and you will be guided.

God Bless

Jamie