Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The flip side
Who says the rain can't help. To the flip side I can just go get some soap and make the best with the free water!
When life gives you lemons make lemonaid! Right?
When life gives you lemons make lemonaid! Right?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
how long will this last?
Where do you go when the rain start to fall and wont stop
Getting drenched and cold I almost can't hang on to that warmth I felt just days ago
How far do I have to reach before I will be relieved
Can I barrow your umbrella
I'm trying so hard not to lose hope and trust faith
It feels as some days are dry but you can still smell the moisture from the rainy day before
Then a new cloud travels along and nothing but thoughts of another down poor
I'm trying to hold on and be strong
yet I am feeling so week
Getting drenched and cold I almost can't hang on to that warmth I felt just days ago
How far do I have to reach before I will be relieved
Can I barrow your umbrella
I'm trying so hard not to lose hope and trust faith
It feels as some days are dry but you can still smell the moisture from the rainy day before
Then a new cloud travels along and nothing but thoughts of another down poor
I'm trying to hold on and be strong
yet I am feeling so week
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
More than just food
Before I learned more about IE I had learned some very good need to knows about house hold cleaning products. I have tried to switch over to the eco and family friendly products out there.
You know how when you eat certain foods they make you feel a certain way?
Got a headache? is your dishwasher on or did you just clean your bathroom or do your laundry?
Most in store products have a lot of useless chemicals in them that are harming our home environment. I learned that it can take 3 days for chemicals to air out of your home. So if your using them daily when does it have time to air out? Also chemicals all linger below your knees. Who's breathing in that air? Your kids and pet oh ya and when your sleeping your then breathing in from that area as well.
I used to be part of Melaleuca they have great products and you can build your own business or even sign up to get a discounted member price, you don't have to be a member and pay the listed price. Also I have been finding other products that a good prices and you can buy them bulk on amazon. I have also noticed Target's have expanded their eco products and are at a good price as well.
I thought I would just put this out there for people to learn a bit of what I have. Since I have switched over to these products I love them and there has been a couple of times where I ran out and used some of the other brand again and noticed the effects and never really put it to the products.
Like the fabric softener I used to use makes my nose itch and makes me sneeze, when I thought about it I used to do that all the time just never realized it was that until I had switch I always just thought it was allergies or dust just didn't know it was that.
Also I was getting head aches when cleaning my bathrooms and the dish washing detergent gave me head aches.
Here are a list of the products that I have used and use. I haven't had any problems with them yet.
Melaleuca products:
I have used all the cleaning products and most of the personal care products.
Earth friendly products:
laundry detergent and dish soap (the dish soap was ok)
eco breeze fabric spray (it's like febreze only better!)
toilet cleaner
tub/bath cleaner
I have a spot remover just haven't used it yet
multi purpose clean works great
Clorox green works natural dish soap (I love it!)
Seventh Generation: I've only tried the dish washing detergent for the dishwasher and love it!
There are so many when you are looking for them like on Amazon some can be pricey but if you can find them in the store I think it is worth it.
I am still looking around to find the good deals. Like the seventh generation dish washing detergent was 3.79 at Target. Amazon has it as a 6pk for $24 something making like $4 something with free shipping. Where as Target isn't too far I think I would just do that, but they don't always have it in stock.
OK I think I'm done. Thought I'd spread this along.
You know how when you eat certain foods they make you feel a certain way?
Got a headache? is your dishwasher on or did you just clean your bathroom or do your laundry?
Most in store products have a lot of useless chemicals in them that are harming our home environment. I learned that it can take 3 days for chemicals to air out of your home. So if your using them daily when does it have time to air out? Also chemicals all linger below your knees. Who's breathing in that air? Your kids and pet oh ya and when your sleeping your then breathing in from that area as well.
I used to be part of Melaleuca they have great products and you can build your own business or even sign up to get a discounted member price, you don't have to be a member and pay the listed price. Also I have been finding other products that a good prices and you can buy them bulk on amazon. I have also noticed Target's have expanded their eco products and are at a good price as well.
I thought I would just put this out there for people to learn a bit of what I have. Since I have switched over to these products I love them and there has been a couple of times where I ran out and used some of the other brand again and noticed the effects and never really put it to the products.
Like the fabric softener I used to use makes my nose itch and makes me sneeze, when I thought about it I used to do that all the time just never realized it was that until I had switch I always just thought it was allergies or dust just didn't know it was that.
Also I was getting head aches when cleaning my bathrooms and the dish washing detergent gave me head aches.
Here are a list of the products that I have used and use. I haven't had any problems with them yet.
Melaleuca products:
I have used all the cleaning products and most of the personal care products.
Earth friendly products:
laundry detergent and dish soap (the dish soap was ok)
eco breeze fabric spray (it's like febreze only better!)
toilet cleaner
tub/bath cleaner
I have a spot remover just haven't used it yet
multi purpose clean works great
Clorox green works natural dish soap (I love it!)
Seventh Generation: I've only tried the dish washing detergent for the dishwasher and love it!
There are so many when you are looking for them like on Amazon some can be pricey but if you can find them in the store I think it is worth it.
I am still looking around to find the good deals. Like the seventh generation dish washing detergent was 3.79 at Target. Amazon has it as a 6pk for $24 something making like $4 something with free shipping. Where as Target isn't too far I think I would just do that, but they don't always have it in stock.
OK I think I'm done. Thought I'd spread this along.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Life changes
Feeling the push and pull of life these days I can't believe how strong I feel. God has put me in the right places at the right time.
This weekend as I was cleaning and thinking about wow 2008 is coming to an end soon. We are only 3 & 1/2 months away from 3 years since our house was built. Looking around and seeing all the changes that have been made as our family grew from having a new born and a 2 year old when we first moved in. Now we have a 4yr old 2yr old and a 1yr old. Now the girls are sharing a room and my sons room has changed from a baby's room to a little mans room.
It all just flew by so fast and looking back at it things feel like a struggle at first and then you get used to the constant changes that come along with life.
But it all begins with the foundation. Built from the ground up, built on something solid so that we can build a strong beautiful home.
The concrete in my foundation is taking form and is become solid. It's been almost a year it will be in just 3 short months to when I broke ground on my new journey. That's was when I gave up the fight and needed to strengthen myself.
I believe God has sent me out on a journey to find myself and I am enjoying every challenge he has given me because I have learned from it all. I am not just sitting back expecting things to change I am making things change and I am the only one who could do that for me. He has given me strength and helped me find the courage to brake threw the wall that blocks my path.
I have made so many great new friends along the way. My friends through thick n thin along with learning who my real friends are and what they really mean to me.
My best friend just left this morning and I am so proud of him. He is taking a big step for our family. Being away from everyone experiencing new things with out me and learning about new things. He is excited about finding a job but wishes he didn't have to be away from home. I know he is being tested on his new path and this will all be worth it. We both will have learned just how much we love each other and our kids will be able to see this.
I should know if I think back my dad was and still is a traveling man, for work. This will be a great experience for both of us as long as we see all the good that comes from this.
This is another peace to our foundation and we are building and we will never stop because God has a beautiful plan layout for us. The seeds have been planted and I can't wait to see it bloom!
This weekend as I was cleaning and thinking about wow 2008 is coming to an end soon. We are only 3 & 1/2 months away from 3 years since our house was built. Looking around and seeing all the changes that have been made as our family grew from having a new born and a 2 year old when we first moved in. Now we have a 4yr old 2yr old and a 1yr old. Now the girls are sharing a room and my sons room has changed from a baby's room to a little mans room.
It all just flew by so fast and looking back at it things feel like a struggle at first and then you get used to the constant changes that come along with life.
But it all begins with the foundation. Built from the ground up, built on something solid so that we can build a strong beautiful home.
The concrete in my foundation is taking form and is become solid. It's been almost a year it will be in just 3 short months to when I broke ground on my new journey. That's was when I gave up the fight and needed to strengthen myself.
I believe God has sent me out on a journey to find myself and I am enjoying every challenge he has given me because I have learned from it all. I am not just sitting back expecting things to change I am making things change and I am the only one who could do that for me. He has given me strength and helped me find the courage to brake threw the wall that blocks my path.
I have made so many great new friends along the way. My friends through thick n thin along with learning who my real friends are and what they really mean to me.
My best friend just left this morning and I am so proud of him. He is taking a big step for our family. Being away from everyone experiencing new things with out me and learning about new things. He is excited about finding a job but wishes he didn't have to be away from home. I know he is being tested on his new path and this will all be worth it. We both will have learned just how much we love each other and our kids will be able to see this.
I should know if I think back my dad was and still is a traveling man, for work. This will be a great experience for both of us as long as we see all the good that comes from this.
This is another peace to our foundation and we are building and we will never stop because God has a beautiful plan layout for us. The seeds have been planted and I can't wait to see it bloom!
Friday, November 28, 2008
The day after Thanksgiving
This year 2008 is ending much batter than it began. Coming upon the holiday season and Thanksgiving come and gone was wonderful. It was so great having no fears about going to family dinners and not feeling like I had to eat if I wasn't hungry yet and everyone else was eating. The food was there and I was able to eat it when I was hungry.
I ordered a couple of IE books and they finally cam in today and I persuade my hubby to let me have one and the other one he can wrap for Christmas. I can't wait to start ready. The one I really wanted to read first good thing he didn't know which one was the one that I really wanted most or he would have made me wait. It was the "Intuitive Eating", By, Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.D., F.A.D.A.
The other book was Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth. I also was able to order a book on EFT: The Promise of Energy Psychology: Revolutionary Tools for Dramatic Personal Change by David Feinstein (Author), Donna Eden (Author), Gary Craig (Author), Candace Pert (Foreword), Mike Bowen (Illustrator) "Your emotional health, your success in the world, and your level of joy can all be dramatically enhanced by shifting the energies that regulate them..."
That one isn't in yet but I am very interested in learning more about EFT. These books are my Christmas presents this year and I am so excited for them. I am so eager to learn more and keep feeding my motivation.
Tomorrow I am planning on decorating my home for Christmas. I love decorating, the lights the way they glitter in the dark. It brings extra warmth to the heart and is so peaceful.
I ordered a couple of IE books and they finally cam in today and I persuade my hubby to let me have one and the other one he can wrap for Christmas. I can't wait to start ready. The one I really wanted to read first good thing he didn't know which one was the one that I really wanted most or he would have made me wait. It was the "Intuitive Eating", By, Evelyn Tribole, M.S., R.D. and Elyse Resch, M.S., R.D., F.A.D.A.
The other book was Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth. I also was able to order a book on EFT: The Promise of Energy Psychology: Revolutionary Tools for Dramatic Personal Change by David Feinstein (Author), Donna Eden (Author), Gary Craig (Author), Candace Pert (Foreword), Mike Bowen (Illustrator) "Your emotional health, your success in the world, and your level of joy can all be dramatically enhanced by shifting the energies that regulate them..."
That one isn't in yet but I am very interested in learning more about EFT. These books are my Christmas presents this year and I am so excited for them. I am so eager to learn more and keep feeding my motivation.
Tomorrow I am planning on decorating my home for Christmas. I love decorating, the lights the way they glitter in the dark. It brings extra warmth to the heart and is so peaceful.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I deserve it!
I put up a post on the through thick n thin blog about my new goals and I wanted to put them in here as well.
I have decided to only now wear my pedometer when I am working out. I am setting my nightly jog goal to hit 5000 steps and if I go on a walk or do some planned work out I will wear it then as well.
I think part of me feels like I am wearing a leash or something and it has been taking away my attention from things I would like to really get done. It is simply all just a mental thing for me I can't explain it but these goals I have set up I think will be good for me and help me stay motivated.
I also decided to write out my to do list on a peace of laminated paper and use a dry erase marker for daily things I would like to get done. I am finding it very helpful because seeing all the things get checked off really helps me to feel accomplished.
I always seem to over look the little things that I do, well maybe they are not little but what I feel is expected of me as a stay at home mom that is home with 5 kids some times 6 kids around all day every day. So if I have my check list and marking the off when I have time to reflect on my day I can then let it sink in wow I did do all that and I deserve to say good for you!
Jamie
I have decided to only now wear my pedometer when I am working out. I am setting my nightly jog goal to hit 5000 steps and if I go on a walk or do some planned work out I will wear it then as well.
I think part of me feels like I am wearing a leash or something and it has been taking away my attention from things I would like to really get done. It is simply all just a mental thing for me I can't explain it but these goals I have set up I think will be good for me and help me stay motivated.
I also decided to write out my to do list on a peace of laminated paper and use a dry erase marker for daily things I would like to get done. I am finding it very helpful because seeing all the things get checked off really helps me to feel accomplished.
I always seem to over look the little things that I do, well maybe they are not little but what I feel is expected of me as a stay at home mom that is home with 5 kids some times 6 kids around all day every day. So if I have my check list and marking the off when I have time to reflect on my day I can then let it sink in wow I did do all that and I deserve to say good for you!
Jamie
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
what a week
Man I hate this time of the month one minute I am happy another I wanna cry or I want to rip some ones head off!
My mind is so full of so much crap I can't even think straight!
I guess the company my hubby was supposed to start working for now has him on another list and it doesn't look like he will start working for a while they have no idea when they will get to him.
In a way it's not a bad thing it looks like he will be home for Christmas. But the thing that makes it so stress full is that this guy the recruiter keeps saying call back or he will call and get voice mail and keep calling and get told to call back at this other date it is so frustrating. He is still looking to see if there are any more jobs but nobody is hiring.
I guess Bush just put out a new thing and it added another 13weeks to the unemployment benefits because there is just nothing out there for people that are getting laid off (like my hubby) It sucks!
We are getting by with what we have and are just trying hard to find something.
Now that the holiday season is upon us we are trying to find ways to get little gifts for people. Isabelle and I are making picture frames out of big sticks, those tongue presser kinds. I got a big box of them at walmart for like $2 and some paint and stencils. Of coarse what makes the whole thing will be the picture I put on it. I'm gonna get the kidos all dressed up and take a Christmas picture.
Isabelle's been having fun painting and doing this with me, we have much more to do but we have time still.
Trying to find patients to do this project with her can be hard when all the other little kids wanna do it too and once I get things set up of coarse there are things that go wrong and then pain ends up every where. I have to keep bringing myself back into the positive state which is wicked hard at this time of the month!
oh well it will get done and people will love it.
I gotta take care of my monsters now enjoy your day!
Jamie
My mind is so full of so much crap I can't even think straight!
I guess the company my hubby was supposed to start working for now has him on another list and it doesn't look like he will start working for a while they have no idea when they will get to him.
In a way it's not a bad thing it looks like he will be home for Christmas. But the thing that makes it so stress full is that this guy the recruiter keeps saying call back or he will call and get voice mail and keep calling and get told to call back at this other date it is so frustrating. He is still looking to see if there are any more jobs but nobody is hiring.
I guess Bush just put out a new thing and it added another 13weeks to the unemployment benefits because there is just nothing out there for people that are getting laid off (like my hubby) It sucks!
We are getting by with what we have and are just trying hard to find something.
Now that the holiday season is upon us we are trying to find ways to get little gifts for people. Isabelle and I are making picture frames out of big sticks, those tongue presser kinds. I got a big box of them at walmart for like $2 and some paint and stencils. Of coarse what makes the whole thing will be the picture I put on it. I'm gonna get the kidos all dressed up and take a Christmas picture.
Isabelle's been having fun painting and doing this with me, we have much more to do but we have time still.
Trying to find patients to do this project with her can be hard when all the other little kids wanna do it too and once I get things set up of coarse there are things that go wrong and then pain ends up every where. I have to keep bringing myself back into the positive state which is wicked hard at this time of the month!
oh well it will get done and people will love it.
I gotta take care of my monsters now enjoy your day!
Jamie
Monday, November 24, 2008
Definetly life changing
It is happening again, my life is transforming and molding to a better me. Trying to explain and get others to understand this process is so hard. If they don't know what it is like making these changes than they will have a hard time trying to make sense of all this.
I told my husband about how I decide to stop wearing my pedometer for a while. I didn't say I was throwing it away or getting rid of it. I simply said I was giving it a break.
It brought back memories to when I told him I was sending our scale to live with his parents. I would have just trashed it but to make him feel better knowing it is there and can grab it when ever than we settled on the middle ground.
Now the pedometer is not a threat to most I have just been feeling that same "guilt" feeling. I have been paying too much attention to the numbers and not how my body feels. There isn't anything wrong with a pedometer, it was great for me it got me motivated and was a daily reminder to keep me moving.
I don't know maybe I am just seeing how I can do with out my training wheels on. Like the the scale it was great seeing the numbers go down and got me motivated, well it got to a point where the numbers stood still or only budged every 2 weeks causing me to check almost daily.
I don't need those distractions. I guess I am just finding out that my internal signals are gathering more strength and now I need to prove to myself that I can do it with out see any numbers. I need to set goals ones that I know will get me the 10K steps a day and not caring if I know exactly what number I did hit.
I have been seeing my daily routin and if I stick to it or even if I add more I will hit the 10K and mayeb more.
Getting this new found strength from with in is giving me more motivation and today being day one with no pedometer and allowing myself to be set free of the training wheels I feel great! I had so much more energy and my thoughts were much more positive.
I don't know if the pedometer was the cause of the "guilt" feel but I do know that I have been relying on it in the wrong ways.
Kinda like the clock, when I first started and as some one else mentioned at the McKenna site. When you feel hunger first response to that feeling look at the clock. Old habits is it time to eat? does the clock know if your hungry? NO
Same for me with the pedometer, just because I get x amount of steps doesn't mean I wasn't doing something more. There is plenty more exercise than your feet moving.
So now for me my goal is to keep moving! I basically know what can get me 10K a day and will keep with it and I have a strong feeling I will end up maybe going over. Who cares I am not in training and what is most important is that I am moving my body.
Jamie
I told my husband about how I decide to stop wearing my pedometer for a while. I didn't say I was throwing it away or getting rid of it. I simply said I was giving it a break.
It brought back memories to when I told him I was sending our scale to live with his parents. I would have just trashed it but to make him feel better knowing it is there and can grab it when ever than we settled on the middle ground.
Now the pedometer is not a threat to most I have just been feeling that same "guilt" feeling. I have been paying too much attention to the numbers and not how my body feels. There isn't anything wrong with a pedometer, it was great for me it got me motivated and was a daily reminder to keep me moving.
I don't know maybe I am just seeing how I can do with out my training wheels on. Like the the scale it was great seeing the numbers go down and got me motivated, well it got to a point where the numbers stood still or only budged every 2 weeks causing me to check almost daily.
I don't need those distractions. I guess I am just finding out that my internal signals are gathering more strength and now I need to prove to myself that I can do it with out see any numbers. I need to set goals ones that I know will get me the 10K steps a day and not caring if I know exactly what number I did hit.
I have been seeing my daily routin and if I stick to it or even if I add more I will hit the 10K and mayeb more.
Getting this new found strength from with in is giving me more motivation and today being day one with no pedometer and allowing myself to be set free of the training wheels I feel great! I had so much more energy and my thoughts were much more positive.
I don't know if the pedometer was the cause of the "guilt" feel but I do know that I have been relying on it in the wrong ways.
Kinda like the clock, when I first started and as some one else mentioned at the McKenna site. When you feel hunger first response to that feeling look at the clock. Old habits is it time to eat? does the clock know if your hungry? NO
Same for me with the pedometer, just because I get x amount of steps doesn't mean I wasn't doing something more. There is plenty more exercise than your feet moving.
So now for me my goal is to keep moving! I basically know what can get me 10K a day and will keep with it and I have a strong feeling I will end up maybe going over. Who cares I am not in training and what is most important is that I am moving my body.
Jamie
First of many family gatherings this Holiday season
Well today was the first of many more holiday gatherings. My hubby's Mem took the family out to lunch for a Thanksgiving dinner. It was his moms side of the family and all her brothers and nieces and nephew a big bunch.
They are all of different sizes very French and loud too. I had a good time and at first when the food came out everyone was digging in. My son who is 2 & 1/2 was sitting on my lap and I was busy with getting him all set up and then getting my plate together. I had noticed that I had eaten my first few bites too fast a lot faster than usual. I was so happy I picked up on it right away. Everyone else was eating so fast I just fallowed along.
So I put my fork down and I took a deep breath and I was better the rest of the meal. I felt bad because I kept on thinking it was kinda sad in a way how this family has treated their bodies.
My mother inlaw is doing the Atkins diet and went off of it today and will be going on and off through out the Holidays.
She sat back and said she would probably not eat the rest of the day she was so stuffed. I was trying real hard not to pay much attention to how others were eating and felt bad that I wasn't sure was I judging them? But I thought about it I think I was just reflecting and taking note mostly about how I used to be. I was there and new look at the control I have. I don't need to cheat or stuff it in while I can.
Even though I had my son on my lap the entire time, I was still able to enjoy every bite. I had some conversation and took it slow. It was a family style dinner, with chicken pasta and fries and of coarse rolls and salad (which was drenched with their dressing).
Everything was good and even sharing my food with my boy I still had food left on my plate. The servings of chicken are so big we both didn't finish it. But I guess watching how many times each bowl of fries or chicken got refreshed I think I lost some of my appetite thinking how quickly things were disappearing.
Anyways I am proud of my adventure today, and I know I will be able to make it through this Holiday season with no worries and know that I am healing and I am doing great!
They are all of different sizes very French and loud too. I had a good time and at first when the food came out everyone was digging in. My son who is 2 & 1/2 was sitting on my lap and I was busy with getting him all set up and then getting my plate together. I had noticed that I had eaten my first few bites too fast a lot faster than usual. I was so happy I picked up on it right away. Everyone else was eating so fast I just fallowed along.
So I put my fork down and I took a deep breath and I was better the rest of the meal. I felt bad because I kept on thinking it was kinda sad in a way how this family has treated their bodies.
My mother inlaw is doing the Atkins diet and went off of it today and will be going on and off through out the Holidays.
She sat back and said she would probably not eat the rest of the day she was so stuffed. I was trying real hard not to pay much attention to how others were eating and felt bad that I wasn't sure was I judging them? But I thought about it I think I was just reflecting and taking note mostly about how I used to be. I was there and new look at the control I have. I don't need to cheat or stuff it in while I can.
Even though I had my son on my lap the entire time, I was still able to enjoy every bite. I had some conversation and took it slow. It was a family style dinner, with chicken pasta and fries and of coarse rolls and salad (which was drenched with their dressing).
Everything was good and even sharing my food with my boy I still had food left on my plate. The servings of chicken are so big we both didn't finish it. But I guess watching how many times each bowl of fries or chicken got refreshed I think I lost some of my appetite thinking how quickly things were disappearing.
Anyways I am proud of my adventure today, and I know I will be able to make it through this Holiday season with no worries and know that I am healing and I am doing great!
Friday, November 21, 2008
thoughts
The feelings are so empowering I can't even explain them
The shadows creeping and crawling along the dirt as if they are chasing
The fear of what linger with in them but I'm not scared
I want to shout and jump with joy
They are getting further away
I have beaten them
Even if they return I have the strength
The courage to get beyond those creepy crawly things
They are not to fear unless you think they will hurt you
Keep your head up and breath
Don't be worried or scared
You are not alone we are here
So let your light shine bright and SMILE!
The shadows creeping and crawling along the dirt as if they are chasing
The fear of what linger with in them but I'm not scared
I want to shout and jump with joy
They are getting further away
I have beaten them
Even if they return I have the strength
The courage to get beyond those creepy crawly things
They are not to fear unless you think they will hurt you
Keep your head up and breath
Don't be worried or scared
You are not alone we are here
So let your light shine bright and SMILE!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Stepping stones
I have so much going on in my life right now. My hubby got the job with the trucking firm doing trucking over the road and we are not sure when he will be going out to start, so frustraiting not knowing when.
Then there is always the thought of money and the holidays. Of coarse running the household and paying bills, and then there were the changes at the McKenna site, but that has all been settled now (thanks to Shannon!)
But yesterday morning I was finding it hard to pull myself out of the emotional ball I felt like I was a water factory I kept getting teary eyed over thinking too much. So I thought about all the gatherings we or maybe just me and the kids will be attending this season. Starting with Thanks giving, I thought well, I don't have any dress up clothes. Man that broke out a spark, this year is so different! this time last year I was dreading to buy yet again new clothes because I didn't have any big enough to fit me.
I was feeling it getting excited about OK hubby is home I'll go shopping for a couple of new shirts not too dressy and some slacks. A few minutes before I was going to leave my mom called to tell me about a family meeting we are going to be having. My mem has been diagnosed with dementia (so wasn't my grammy she is in FL)and I guess there was some kinda argument or something about the new puppy at my mem & peps house and my mem's shoes got chewed up and she just had it, they had been looking to get rid of him he was too hiper for her. So my mem just up and walked out of the house and went on a walk. Ya it was dark and my pep called the police and my dad & uncle they were all looking for her.
I guess she was gone for about a half hour when finally she just walked back in the house. Luckily nothing happened this time. I mean I hear about all these other stories how people take the car and don't remember where they are or things like that. The Dr. just told her she can't drive anymore. Ya it's a big mess, and my pep isn't in good health either he has emphysema and a bad heart. He recovered from Colin cancer like 6 years ago.
So I left going to the store with so much on my mind, far from those good feelings I had finally started to spark. It was great I got in the store and was looking in the ladies section and was finding a few things. I kept on looking at this one shirt and was thinking ah no it's gonna be too clingy or not fit right I must have passed it like 5 times and finally said it wont hurt me to try it on. Think about it how many times have I tried something on and it not look right. I grabbed it and a couple of other shirts and a camisole and some really comfy dress pants.
I couldn't believe it! I got teary eyed again! But this time was because I have never once been able to just pull something off the rack an entire out fit and for the first time everything was amazing! I couldn't stop looking in the mirror. My eyes were so watery and I couldn't stop turning, plus the way the mirrors were I could see all of me behind and all.
I didn't feel fat I wasn't depressed because I had to settle with something that looked ok. I had on something I really liked no loved and it was right off the rack no going to grab the next size up or it just didn't fit right.
Bring on the parties people I'm ready to shine!
In that dressing room it helped remind me that everything will happen at it's own time. Just let it happen and tend to it as thing come along.
Keep trusting in your faith and you will be guided.
God Bless
Jamie
Then there is always the thought of money and the holidays. Of coarse running the household and paying bills, and then there were the changes at the McKenna site, but that has all been settled now (thanks to Shannon!)
But yesterday morning I was finding it hard to pull myself out of the emotional ball I felt like I was a water factory I kept getting teary eyed over thinking too much. So I thought about all the gatherings we or maybe just me and the kids will be attending this season. Starting with Thanks giving, I thought well, I don't have any dress up clothes. Man that broke out a spark, this year is so different! this time last year I was dreading to buy yet again new clothes because I didn't have any big enough to fit me.
I was feeling it getting excited about OK hubby is home I'll go shopping for a couple of new shirts not too dressy and some slacks. A few minutes before I was going to leave my mom called to tell me about a family meeting we are going to be having. My mem has been diagnosed with dementia (so wasn't my grammy she is in FL)and I guess there was some kinda argument or something about the new puppy at my mem & peps house and my mem's shoes got chewed up and she just had it, they had been looking to get rid of him he was too hiper for her. So my mem just up and walked out of the house and went on a walk. Ya it was dark and my pep called the police and my dad & uncle they were all looking for her.
I guess she was gone for about a half hour when finally she just walked back in the house. Luckily nothing happened this time. I mean I hear about all these other stories how people take the car and don't remember where they are or things like that. The Dr. just told her she can't drive anymore. Ya it's a big mess, and my pep isn't in good health either he has emphysema and a bad heart. He recovered from Colin cancer like 6 years ago.
So I left going to the store with so much on my mind, far from those good feelings I had finally started to spark. It was great I got in the store and was looking in the ladies section and was finding a few things. I kept on looking at this one shirt and was thinking ah no it's gonna be too clingy or not fit right I must have passed it like 5 times and finally said it wont hurt me to try it on. Think about it how many times have I tried something on and it not look right. I grabbed it and a couple of other shirts and a camisole and some really comfy dress pants.
I couldn't believe it! I got teary eyed again! But this time was because I have never once been able to just pull something off the rack an entire out fit and for the first time everything was amazing! I couldn't stop looking in the mirror. My eyes were so watery and I couldn't stop turning, plus the way the mirrors were I could see all of me behind and all.
I didn't feel fat I wasn't depressed because I had to settle with something that looked ok. I had on something I really liked no loved and it was right off the rack no going to grab the next size up or it just didn't fit right.
Bring on the parties people I'm ready to shine!
In that dressing room it helped remind me that everything will happen at it's own time. Just let it happen and tend to it as thing come along.
Keep trusting in your faith and you will be guided.
God Bless
Jamie
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Gonna need the extra lovins
Well, my hubby has taken the job with Swift an over the road trucking company. He will be leaving for orientation either next week Nov 18th or Dec 9th.
I know this brings a lot more change in my life but I feel that God has helped me prepare for this.
My first step was starting Paul McKenna's system back in March, and then come June my hubby got laid off. Then that same morning he came home from being laid off he got signed up to go to school to get his class A CDL licence. It's been 5 months and he passed his test and now has his licence.
Along the way I joined the great community at the Paul McKenna site back in July. I was feeling great and losing weight and there wasn't anyone to help share in the excitement and to understand all my life changing experiences. Going to that community and becoming one of them helped fill a void in my life.
I was no longer feeling alone and have been able to see that my changes and experiences actually help others to change and experience thing. A circle of new friends and a new addition to my family.
So now with more changing on the horizon I know that I will make it threw and this will only help me to be stronger. My hubby going over the road will not be for ever, just until he can get the experience he needs to find the right job close to home and home nightly and not just 2 times a month.
I so very grateful to have made friends with all of you. Thank you and I am not going to ever stop saying thank you!
From my heart I thank you!
Jamie
I know this brings a lot more change in my life but I feel that God has helped me prepare for this.
My first step was starting Paul McKenna's system back in March, and then come June my hubby got laid off. Then that same morning he came home from being laid off he got signed up to go to school to get his class A CDL licence. It's been 5 months and he passed his test and now has his licence.
Along the way I joined the great community at the Paul McKenna site back in July. I was feeling great and losing weight and there wasn't anyone to help share in the excitement and to understand all my life changing experiences. Going to that community and becoming one of them helped fill a void in my life.
I was no longer feeling alone and have been able to see that my changes and experiences actually help others to change and experience thing. A circle of new friends and a new addition to my family.
So now with more changing on the horizon I know that I will make it threw and this will only help me to be stronger. My hubby going over the road will not be for ever, just until he can get the experience he needs to find the right job close to home and home nightly and not just 2 times a month.
I so very grateful to have made friends with all of you. Thank you and I am not going to ever stop saying thank you!
From my heart I thank you!
Jamie
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Fears to moving forward
In reading Roses post on the through thick and thin blog I have been going back and thinking up the excuses I used to have why I can't lose weight and be successful on any diet.
Of coarse when you first hear of Paul's system you think great I have no will power, how the heck am I supposed to do this? What if I don't lose weight? Well, it wouldn't hurt to just give it a try. Heck I am already over weight and stuck in this spot in my life why not.
In talking to some friends that are trying to lose weight and knowing they want it so badly and yet when they ask about how to start or go about fallowing Paul McKenna's program if they are not truly ready for the life change it's almost like an automatic defence mode and the excuses pop up to why they would fail before they even try.
One things that most irritates me is that people work in all different environments and I've found that the attack on me of being a stay at home mom w/ a daycare should be the easy way to lose weight. Now I never say to anyone that they have it easy because of their job situation. I know that everyone has all sorts of stress and things that need to be worked through.
I have these 2 friends that both want to lose weight, one is ready and understands the idea of everything and wants me to help her. The other when we were talking about weight loss in general seemed like she was on the attack about everything. My hubby sounded just like that at first. They in a way would say, well you have it easy your at home all day and don't have to worry about when you get a lunch break and how long you have to eat.
I get so irked by that because, I am around food and have it right there when ever I wanted it. That is part of the problem to my being over weight. I was the one hiding in the pantry because I never made the time to enjoy the food I really wanted to have. I was the one who was snaking along with the kids because the food was there. I was the one nibbling endlessly while putting the food together for the kids and when it came time to eating my meal I ate even thought I wasn't hungry anymore.
Fear of over eating all day. I know what others feel as fear is starvation. Worrying about when they will get their meal and how long it will take.
We all have a fear but that is what is making us over weight. We need to slow down and think how can we fix this problem.
Mine is doing the best I can not to nibble when hungry hold off and I will truly enjoy each bite and just because the food is there doesn't mean I need to eat it. Trying my best to hold off and when it's a good time to eat when I know I will enjoy every bite then that will be my reward. Just because I am home with kids all day doesn't mean anything. I used them as my excuse to why I was gaining weight.
As for others like my hubby when he was working I would say you have control over what food is around you. You pack your own meals to eat just enjoy what time you do have when you are eating. When you slow down your eating and pay attention it doesn't take 20min to eat a meal. Your shrinking your stomach how much food do you think it takes? Bring things that don't take long to prep before eating. Stop fearing the starvation and look at what you have to work with.
No matter where you work once you start eating what and how your body wants you will find so much more energy and in turn probably start working better and have a clearer head after your break. Which will lead to more steps on the pedometer. Making extra steps to the copier or taking the stairs more. Even just stopping for a couple of min out of your day and march in place (works great when things are a little stressed) pump them legs and arms and watch the steam drain out of your head.
I feel much better now, I've had these thoughts bottled up for a while now and just had to share them.
Jamie
Of coarse when you first hear of Paul's system you think great I have no will power, how the heck am I supposed to do this? What if I don't lose weight? Well, it wouldn't hurt to just give it a try. Heck I am already over weight and stuck in this spot in my life why not.
In talking to some friends that are trying to lose weight and knowing they want it so badly and yet when they ask about how to start or go about fallowing Paul McKenna's program if they are not truly ready for the life change it's almost like an automatic defence mode and the excuses pop up to why they would fail before they even try.
One things that most irritates me is that people work in all different environments and I've found that the attack on me of being a stay at home mom w/ a daycare should be the easy way to lose weight. Now I never say to anyone that they have it easy because of their job situation. I know that everyone has all sorts of stress and things that need to be worked through.
I have these 2 friends that both want to lose weight, one is ready and understands the idea of everything and wants me to help her. The other when we were talking about weight loss in general seemed like she was on the attack about everything. My hubby sounded just like that at first. They in a way would say, well you have it easy your at home all day and don't have to worry about when you get a lunch break and how long you have to eat.
I get so irked by that because, I am around food and have it right there when ever I wanted it. That is part of the problem to my being over weight. I was the one hiding in the pantry because I never made the time to enjoy the food I really wanted to have. I was the one who was snaking along with the kids because the food was there. I was the one nibbling endlessly while putting the food together for the kids and when it came time to eating my meal I ate even thought I wasn't hungry anymore.
Fear of over eating all day. I know what others feel as fear is starvation. Worrying about when they will get their meal and how long it will take.
We all have a fear but that is what is making us over weight. We need to slow down and think how can we fix this problem.
Mine is doing the best I can not to nibble when hungry hold off and I will truly enjoy each bite and just because the food is there doesn't mean I need to eat it. Trying my best to hold off and when it's a good time to eat when I know I will enjoy every bite then that will be my reward. Just because I am home with kids all day doesn't mean anything. I used them as my excuse to why I was gaining weight.
As for others like my hubby when he was working I would say you have control over what food is around you. You pack your own meals to eat just enjoy what time you do have when you are eating. When you slow down your eating and pay attention it doesn't take 20min to eat a meal. Your shrinking your stomach how much food do you think it takes? Bring things that don't take long to prep before eating. Stop fearing the starvation and look at what you have to work with.
No matter where you work once you start eating what and how your body wants you will find so much more energy and in turn probably start working better and have a clearer head after your break. Which will lead to more steps on the pedometer. Making extra steps to the copier or taking the stairs more. Even just stopping for a couple of min out of your day and march in place (works great when things are a little stressed) pump them legs and arms and watch the steam drain out of your head.
I feel much better now, I've had these thoughts bottled up for a while now and just had to share them.
Jamie
Friday, October 17, 2008
Little unthought of changes
I keep wanting to write this down and just haven't gotten to it yet.
A couple of weeks ago, I was laying on my living room floor being the mommy jungle gym that I am. My oldest Isabelle decided to give me one of her deep tissue back massage by standing on my back. She does a pretty good job and uses her little toes and works out a lot of kinks.
Anyways while she was doing that she stopped and said yew mommy what is that, and paused and moved her little foot around a bit more and was shocked she was like oh I can feel your bones.
That made me happy knowing I must be losing inches on my back. I love having the kids around they are so outspoken and you know they mean what they say. Of coarse there are times the words they choose can be hurtful but they just don't understand all the meanings yet.
They have been such great little motivators for me through this whole process. The boy I babysit has said on walks, Jamie you are looking smaller, your belly isn't as big as it used to be. Or now that I walk him to school just about every morning he said just the other day I know why you like to walk me to school, for the exercise right? I said yes because walking is good for your heart to help you stay healthy and strong.
My oldest has said things here and there about how my clothes like when they are getting too big and saying you need to buy some smaller ones. She is a great personal trainer too she enjoys working out with me of coarse there are somethings I do with her that is more fun for her and makes me have to work harder but is great for my work out. My son will do things like that too.
I'm just so happy to be showing these kids the healthy side of my life. Who knows how they would have ended up if I continued to gain.
My kids are my motivation, they are my dependents meaning they couldn't live with out me or some one to help them with everything. If I am not healthy and can't be there for them then I have failed. I am stronger & healthier mentally and physically.
Today is my 27th birthday and my 26th year was all about starting to improve myself and I have accomplished a lot. I am so proud of who I am and who I am becoming. So I am going to make this 27th year rock out all the years gone by. So many of them I have wasted by feeling sorry, lonely and lost in myself. No more live life to it's fullest!
Jamie
A couple of weeks ago, I was laying on my living room floor being the mommy jungle gym that I am. My oldest Isabelle decided to give me one of her deep tissue back massage by standing on my back. She does a pretty good job and uses her little toes and works out a lot of kinks.
Anyways while she was doing that she stopped and said yew mommy what is that, and paused and moved her little foot around a bit more and was shocked she was like oh I can feel your bones.
That made me happy knowing I must be losing inches on my back. I love having the kids around they are so outspoken and you know they mean what they say. Of coarse there are times the words they choose can be hurtful but they just don't understand all the meanings yet.
They have been such great little motivators for me through this whole process. The boy I babysit has said on walks, Jamie you are looking smaller, your belly isn't as big as it used to be. Or now that I walk him to school just about every morning he said just the other day I know why you like to walk me to school, for the exercise right? I said yes because walking is good for your heart to help you stay healthy and strong.
My oldest has said things here and there about how my clothes like when they are getting too big and saying you need to buy some smaller ones. She is a great personal trainer too she enjoys working out with me of coarse there are somethings I do with her that is more fun for her and makes me have to work harder but is great for my work out. My son will do things like that too.
I'm just so happy to be showing these kids the healthy side of my life. Who knows how they would have ended up if I continued to gain.
My kids are my motivation, they are my dependents meaning they couldn't live with out me or some one to help them with everything. If I am not healthy and can't be there for them then I have failed. I am stronger & healthier mentally and physically.
Today is my 27th birthday and my 26th year was all about starting to improve myself and I have accomplished a lot. I am so proud of who I am and who I am becoming. So I am going to make this 27th year rock out all the years gone by. So many of them I have wasted by feeling sorry, lonely and lost in myself. No more live life to it's fullest!
Jamie
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Another goal reached!
Looking back and remember the feeling of no hope I didn't think I would ever see the day when I would wear my size 14's again. Before I started with Paul Mckenna's system I was in a size 22/24 and the thought of seeing size 14 was so far out there.
I have learned much in this new journey of mine and making small goals along the way will bring you to the ultimate goal you first set out to hit. I can say I never imagined how great it would feel to have gone through this and it was all me. I have control and I love trust and listen to my body.
I have been keeping tabs on where my body is at. I keep trying on my size 14 jeans. Just a few weeks ago I was excited because I was able to get them up and on and zip and button them. Now today I am confortable to say that I am a size 14. I tried on them jeans and they fit comfortably enough where I feel I can actually wear them!
I never thought about size 12 or even 10. Now I am, my new goal will be 12's. And I know I can do it. I know I still have more weight to lose, but I have achieved so much that if I don't make it there for a while I am so happy with all that I have come through.
You always hear people say if I can do it you can to. I used to hate hearing that because I didn't believe in myself. I thought up all those silly excuses why I can't. I don't have time, I don't have the will power, I hate to exercise and so on.
Not anymore. I started to change my thinking. I want to be healthy for me & my family. I want to keep that passion of growing love going between me and my husband. I want to show everyone that thinks that it can't be done that it can be. My strength comes from my heart and I want people to see me and not the shell I used to hide under.
I love to exercise and I have never eaten this healthy in my life. It is all naturally happening. It is a miracle that came from me, not a pill or diet.
I've never been a size 10. I was in a size 12 for like one month in high school I'd love to be there or maybe pass that. We will see where my body wants me to be. One day at a time and go with the flow.
Jamie
I have learned much in this new journey of mine and making small goals along the way will bring you to the ultimate goal you first set out to hit. I can say I never imagined how great it would feel to have gone through this and it was all me. I have control and I love trust and listen to my body.
I have been keeping tabs on where my body is at. I keep trying on my size 14 jeans. Just a few weeks ago I was excited because I was able to get them up and on and zip and button them. Now today I am confortable to say that I am a size 14. I tried on them jeans and they fit comfortably enough where I feel I can actually wear them!
I never thought about size 12 or even 10. Now I am, my new goal will be 12's. And I know I can do it. I know I still have more weight to lose, but I have achieved so much that if I don't make it there for a while I am so happy with all that I have come through.
You always hear people say if I can do it you can to. I used to hate hearing that because I didn't believe in myself. I thought up all those silly excuses why I can't. I don't have time, I don't have the will power, I hate to exercise and so on.
Not anymore. I started to change my thinking. I want to be healthy for me & my family. I want to keep that passion of growing love going between me and my husband. I want to show everyone that thinks that it can't be done that it can be. My strength comes from my heart and I want people to see me and not the shell I used to hide under.
I love to exercise and I have never eaten this healthy in my life. It is all naturally happening. It is a miracle that came from me, not a pill or diet.
I've never been a size 10. I was in a size 12 for like one month in high school I'd love to be there or maybe pass that. We will see where my body wants me to be. One day at a time and go with the flow.
Jamie
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Getting rid of the clutter!
I know not dealing with the clutter that takes up room in my house is just eating away at me. I know putting things to one side to deal with later just makes things add up. If you think about it it shows all over you too.
With out dealing with it sooner it leaves time for dust to settle leaving it all the more harder to deal with. Learning that baby step and taking things slow, tackle one thing at a time.
So I wrote my list, first I just wrote down the things that bugged me most. Then I put them in order of which one needs to be done first. Thinking of daily life and when I am in the moment of getting tings ready what is the obstacle that is standing in my way and would make life just that much easier?
My bedroom was the number one. When we first built our house we had put our big desk in our master bed room. Then it got out of control trying to use the computer or do things at the desk. The desk was more of a dumping ground than anything. So, we got a laptop this past Christmas and got rid of the desk.
The problem wasn't completely solved because then there were the boxes that held all the stuff from the desk just sitting there in the corner waiting to be sorted. Of coarse the longer it sat the more we added to that pile of needing to be sorted stuff.
Yesterday was a great day. I had my list and I knew what I wanted to do first. Taking my new tools that helped me with food, I put them to use with cleaning. I hung a sign to remind me, I am cleaning the BED ROOM to be a bedroom not storage! So anytime I was tempted to give in and say I'll put this here and do it later, I'd look up and see it and it reminded me how great it will feel to have space to walk and have a bed room again!
To think all this is stemming from the basement, if I had never cleaned it out and started to organise things down there I wouldn't be able to find more storage space for thing. Now I can bring the al the clothes and sort them out in the basement were they wont be in the way and we have plenty of room to do it in now. We had 4 baskets of clothes that were either too small for the kids or needed to be stored for Gabby to use as she grows, even my pregnancy clothes. Do you know how great it felt to get the size 22 pants and frumpy clothes out of my way? I can't believe the amount of weight that has been lifted yet again.
Not only for tackling a couple of things on my list but for getting the scale out of my house! I even found an old scale it felt so great to be able to through it away! The other one I sent it of to my hubby's parents house. He's not ready to let it go yet. In time I am sure he will understand, I think we have gotten much better at complimenting and encouraging one another.
I also wrote myself reminders on my list. Things to think of because I know sometimes what I am thinking when going threw old things. How long has it been since we used this? Think, can you truly say you will use this with in the next year? You don't have to though everything away, you can put it in a yard sale, or simply donate it, just get it out!
Tackling one or two things once a week, or when I know I can handle it and not get over whelmed. That is key, because that is how the piles started in the first place. You go in all gunning for it and use up all your steam before the job is done and done right the first time.
Now I can take these feelings to the next thing on the list, just remember how great it feels to be getting things in order and get rid of the extra baggage.
Thank you for reading, and I hope I may have been of some help to others out there with clutter problems.
Be Well
Jamie
With out dealing with it sooner it leaves time for dust to settle leaving it all the more harder to deal with. Learning that baby step and taking things slow, tackle one thing at a time.
So I wrote my list, first I just wrote down the things that bugged me most. Then I put them in order of which one needs to be done first. Thinking of daily life and when I am in the moment of getting tings ready what is the obstacle that is standing in my way and would make life just that much easier?
My bedroom was the number one. When we first built our house we had put our big desk in our master bed room. Then it got out of control trying to use the computer or do things at the desk. The desk was more of a dumping ground than anything. So, we got a laptop this past Christmas and got rid of the desk.
The problem wasn't completely solved because then there were the boxes that held all the stuff from the desk just sitting there in the corner waiting to be sorted. Of coarse the longer it sat the more we added to that pile of needing to be sorted stuff.
Yesterday was a great day. I had my list and I knew what I wanted to do first. Taking my new tools that helped me with food, I put them to use with cleaning. I hung a sign to remind me, I am cleaning the BED ROOM to be a bedroom not storage! So anytime I was tempted to give in and say I'll put this here and do it later, I'd look up and see it and it reminded me how great it will feel to have space to walk and have a bed room again!
To think all this is stemming from the basement, if I had never cleaned it out and started to organise things down there I wouldn't be able to find more storage space for thing. Now I can bring the al the clothes and sort them out in the basement were they wont be in the way and we have plenty of room to do it in now. We had 4 baskets of clothes that were either too small for the kids or needed to be stored for Gabby to use as she grows, even my pregnancy clothes. Do you know how great it felt to get the size 22 pants and frumpy clothes out of my way? I can't believe the amount of weight that has been lifted yet again.
Not only for tackling a couple of things on my list but for getting the scale out of my house! I even found an old scale it felt so great to be able to through it away! The other one I sent it of to my hubby's parents house. He's not ready to let it go yet. In time I am sure he will understand, I think we have gotten much better at complimenting and encouraging one another.
I also wrote myself reminders on my list. Things to think of because I know sometimes what I am thinking when going threw old things. How long has it been since we used this? Think, can you truly say you will use this with in the next year? You don't have to though everything away, you can put it in a yard sale, or simply donate it, just get it out!
Tackling one or two things once a week, or when I know I can handle it and not get over whelmed. That is key, because that is how the piles started in the first place. You go in all gunning for it and use up all your steam before the job is done and done right the first time.
Now I can take these feelings to the next thing on the list, just remember how great it feels to be getting things in order and get rid of the extra baggage.
Thank you for reading, and I hope I may have been of some help to others out there with clutter problems.
Be Well
Jamie
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Just thinking
Wow, I can't believe all that Paul Mckenna has to offer us. So many people out there like me that have struggled with weight and just can't find the magic to make it all just disappear. We all wanted some pill or something that would make us wake up the next morning to start with a fresh thin body because it would make life so much easier and happier.
Who would ever think that we have that magic built right inside of us? It's been there all along and we just kept on smothering it with mindless eating and dieting.
I have been catching myself as I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a window, and say wow is that really me? I can't believe the changes and I am the one who did it! Last Saturday before my youngest daughter's first b-day party I was getting dressed and I was so excited because I was going to see people friends and family I haven't seen since Easter time. Not only to see what they might say about how my new shape is taking form but to see the real me starting to show from the inside.
I wasn't sure on which shirt to wear with my only size 16's I have, my capris,I wanted to be comfortable and not have something draped on and make me feel frumpy. I found an XL tank top (far from my 3X I've been wearing) I haven't worn in years and I felt good and was worried about how I could still see my top roll. Of coarse I was home with just my kids so it's not like they could reassure me or tell me if it looked like I painted my shirt on, I mean I knew it wasn't that bad but I always feel like I need others approval or opinions. So I stand there judging myself yet again, an old nasty habit. I stopped and really look. I started to get teary eyed and said Jamie what are you doing to yourself. Look at you, you look awesome. Just think how much fat isn't showing anymore and you feel it you know you do, your comfortable and you know you don' care what others think. You just lost 52 pounds in 5 months show it!
My mom came over to help me gather kids and stuff for the party up at her house and her face said it all when she first saw me. She basically said what I was thinking. So I felt even better after I had another opinion.
Every now and then I get this feeling like wow is this me? Is this really my body? I will reach to scratch my shoulder and acually feel a shoulder bone. Ya maybe still a little squishy but I can feel a bone. Or when I go to rub my eye or scratch my face and can actually feel my cheekbones or even just feel the difference in how it's not as squishy. Just taking little mental notes and letting them seep in is so motivating and makes me feel proud and with this new journey letting myself feel proud and happy for me, it's allowed.
I had to tighten up the draw strings again on my shorts today and that made me feel real good. I can't believe how much not only I have don e but for being able to witness that I am not alone. So many of us are going threw these changes and it's been so wonderful sharing it with all of you.
Wishing you well and a great journey
Jamie
Who would ever think that we have that magic built right inside of us? It's been there all along and we just kept on smothering it with mindless eating and dieting.
I have been catching myself as I walk by a mirror or see my reflection in a window, and say wow is that really me? I can't believe the changes and I am the one who did it! Last Saturday before my youngest daughter's first b-day party I was getting dressed and I was so excited because I was going to see people friends and family I haven't seen since Easter time. Not only to see what they might say about how my new shape is taking form but to see the real me starting to show from the inside.
I wasn't sure on which shirt to wear with my only size 16's I have, my capris,I wanted to be comfortable and not have something draped on and make me feel frumpy. I found an XL tank top (far from my 3X I've been wearing) I haven't worn in years and I felt good and was worried about how I could still see my top roll. Of coarse I was home with just my kids so it's not like they could reassure me or tell me if it looked like I painted my shirt on, I mean I knew it wasn't that bad but I always feel like I need others approval or opinions. So I stand there judging myself yet again, an old nasty habit. I stopped and really look. I started to get teary eyed and said Jamie what are you doing to yourself. Look at you, you look awesome. Just think how much fat isn't showing anymore and you feel it you know you do, your comfortable and you know you don' care what others think. You just lost 52 pounds in 5 months show it!
My mom came over to help me gather kids and stuff for the party up at her house and her face said it all when she first saw me. She basically said what I was thinking. So I felt even better after I had another opinion.
Every now and then I get this feeling like wow is this me? Is this really my body? I will reach to scratch my shoulder and acually feel a shoulder bone. Ya maybe still a little squishy but I can feel a bone. Or when I go to rub my eye or scratch my face and can actually feel my cheekbones or even just feel the difference in how it's not as squishy. Just taking little mental notes and letting them seep in is so motivating and makes me feel proud and with this new journey letting myself feel proud and happy for me, it's allowed.
I had to tighten up the draw strings again on my shorts today and that made me feel real good. I can't believe how much not only I have don e but for being able to witness that I am not alone. So many of us are going threw these changes and it's been so wonderful sharing it with all of you.
Wishing you well and a great journey
Jamie
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Ah it's so great
I am so happy to have gotten my hair cut. It was well deserved and fits well into the new me. I know I have kind of a goofy look on my face in my new picture. I was trying to take it myself and I felt silly no matter what I did my smile didn't look natural. So I did some silly faces and I think this was the better out of a few.
Thank you to all you lovely ladies for all your support and guidance. I can't wait to read more of your lovely blogs. Keep on writing!
Best wishes and always Smile!
Jamie
Thank you to all you lovely ladies for all your support and guidance. I can't wait to read more of your lovely blogs. Keep on writing!
Best wishes and always Smile!
Jamie
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The kid in me
Wow, what a week I have had. I know it is Tuesday, but last Wednesday I started my new project. With the help of the ladies on the McKenna site, I have placed more puzzle peaces into my life puzzle.
Learning what was bothering me most emotionally and sharing it with everyone and getting support and comments to lift the fog from my cluttered brain. I can't thank them enough for informing me that I have a light and my light is shining threw it.
Moving on and smashing that brick made me feel so accomplished and so alive!
I have been keeping track of my daily steps, and tonight I will be totaling up the past 7 days steps and coming up with my average steps per day. I wanted to just move along as usual to get an accurate step count but the new feeling of me came out. It all came so naturally to start moving more and playing with the kids. I am starting to feel like a kid again.
Yesterday I just sat back and watch the kids play. They are all different ages and all have obstacles to work out, one trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. The other trying to figure out how that hula hoop is supposed the go around you, and not you moving within the hula hoop.
Things come so natural to kids, when they are hungry it come on slow. Like mummy I'm hungry and if I don't get to it soon, it turns it creaming and tantrums because their hunger is being ignored and uncomfortable. They want to go out and run around and can't get out. Lets run around and jump on the couch. Having the tv on or shoving food down doesn't accomplish taking care of those feelings. They play and learn at the same time. I am so blessed to be able to watch my children grow and learn from them.
I used to turn the tv on and let them play and wonder why wont just leave me alone I'm trying to get the dishes done or the laundry ect.
I have completely turned my life around for the better of me and my family. I came to realize that I can't get things done because they do come first. The dishes can wait a while longer, just go they want your positive attention for a little while. It may not look like it but they like it when rules are set and you stick to them. They are always testing to see what they can and can't get away with. Testing is a fun thing for them.
Telling my son to stop licking his hand and whipping on the baby's head, he gives me this look with a little smirk, like what are your gonna do about it? He licks his hand and has it hovering over her head getting closer and closer as I count to 5 and start getting up to go get him for a time out. I reach 4 and walking towards him, he quickly wipes his hand on his pants instead, ya that's what I thought.
Getting up and moving and playing with the kid. Exercising with them is much more enjoyable than not having them around. Watching them trying to lift the the 10 lbs weight up with all there might and such.
I figured you can't beat them than join them.
So find the kid in you and get up and move. Start out a little at a time. Try something new for 5 min, when you master it or feel confident add a little more to it.
The kid in me has spoken, thanks for listening.
Be Well Jamie
Learning what was bothering me most emotionally and sharing it with everyone and getting support and comments to lift the fog from my cluttered brain. I can't thank them enough for informing me that I have a light and my light is shining threw it.
Moving on and smashing that brick made me feel so accomplished and so alive!
I have been keeping track of my daily steps, and tonight I will be totaling up the past 7 days steps and coming up with my average steps per day. I wanted to just move along as usual to get an accurate step count but the new feeling of me came out. It all came so naturally to start moving more and playing with the kids. I am starting to feel like a kid again.
Yesterday I just sat back and watch the kids play. They are all different ages and all have obstacles to work out, one trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. The other trying to figure out how that hula hoop is supposed the go around you, and not you moving within the hula hoop.
Things come so natural to kids, when they are hungry it come on slow. Like mummy I'm hungry and if I don't get to it soon, it turns it creaming and tantrums because their hunger is being ignored and uncomfortable. They want to go out and run around and can't get out. Lets run around and jump on the couch. Having the tv on or shoving food down doesn't accomplish taking care of those feelings. They play and learn at the same time. I am so blessed to be able to watch my children grow and learn from them.
I used to turn the tv on and let them play and wonder why wont just leave me alone I'm trying to get the dishes done or the laundry ect.
I have completely turned my life around for the better of me and my family. I came to realize that I can't get things done because they do come first. The dishes can wait a while longer, just go they want your positive attention for a little while. It may not look like it but they like it when rules are set and you stick to them. They are always testing to see what they can and can't get away with. Testing is a fun thing for them.
Telling my son to stop licking his hand and whipping on the baby's head, he gives me this look with a little smirk, like what are your gonna do about it? He licks his hand and has it hovering over her head getting closer and closer as I count to 5 and start getting up to go get him for a time out. I reach 4 and walking towards him, he quickly wipes his hand on his pants instead, ya that's what I thought.
Getting up and moving and playing with the kid. Exercising with them is much more enjoyable than not having them around. Watching them trying to lift the the 10 lbs weight up with all there might and such.
I figured you can't beat them than join them.
So find the kid in you and get up and move. Start out a little at a time. Try something new for 5 min, when you master it or feel confident add a little more to it.
The kid in me has spoken, thanks for listening.
Be Well Jamie
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Making life fun again!
Thanks to all the support on the Paul McKenna web site, I have been able to start chipping a way more pieces of the shell I have been hiding under.
I have started looking at my life the way I look at the world. I am getting better at treating myself, like how I treat others. It's a hard thing to do when your not used to respecting and complimenting yourself. How is your life supposed to change if you can't trust ans love yourself the way you love others?
So I put me in a clear box of frozen time. Visualising every thought that ventures in around my brain. I can see the clutter of fog that has nestled it's self so snug and cozy all over. What's causing it? and how the heck do I get rid f it?
Slowly I have started making changes in my life. Setting small goals for each week, and not getting depressed if it takes longer than a week. Day by day is worth a life time.
I've manged to clean out my basement of just about all the junk that's been sitting down there for about 2 years ago since we built our house. I never realized how much it really did bother me that that space being cluttered was cluttering a part of me.
I just went down and did it! At first I cleaned up little piles at a time and then one day I had this burst of energy and I went down and cleaned until I was done. It took me non stop 5 hours but I did it and I felt so excited it was done! The only thing left was to get rid of baby things and like 5 big bags of trash and 4 big bags of big/prego clothes.
Freeing up so much space in my basement gave new opportunity to turning my life around yet again. I was able to set up a play area for the kids and a small area for my work out stuff. So no more excuses that I can't bring the kids downstairs with me and I never have time to work out because of no space.
Yet another idea, my washer and dryer are down there, so I set up a table to fold the laundry on and to get more exercise out of my day, why not take one pile up at a time to put the clothes away. Not only was I getting exercise I am tackling another thing that bothered me most. I was always searching threw clean laundry basket for clothes that just never got put away. Now even if I don't get to putting them away right away they are folded on my table in the basement and another opportunity to use the stairs!
It's great finding new things that get you motivated and your mind starts to lift some of the fog. So take a look from out side the box approach to my life is continuing to help me achieve many things.
Setting new rules in my house and sticking to them is the best for me and my family. Limited tv time, I used to think that people were crazy, I couldn't survive without the tv being on for the kids. Not anymore I understand now why they say that. Just as anything else we are letting something other than "us" control our minds.
Which brings me to the scale. This week I set a new goal, a life long goal. Put away the scale and start trusting your self. No more weighing into the scale gods a couple days a week or every other week. But to help with getting my mind off of that I put my pedometer on for the first time yesterday to see just how many steps I do in a day.
Shannon gave me some great advise on how to set my goal. She said she marked down the total # of steps taken each day, then at the end of the week (7 days)add them all together and divide them by 7 and that will give you the average steps you take daily. The goal would be to add 500 steps a week until your body feels comfortable to working up to 10,000 steps a day.
I will be doing that and I decided to keep my scale where it is and I figured if I have a paper with the number of steps taken daily as motivation and look in the mirror for my morning pep talk and get my day started on a good note and weigh myself once a month.
Yesterday was a fun filled day! I reached over 10,000 steps, I made it to 10,734 steps! It wasn't hard and I had a blast playing with the kids. It was so enjoyable, not that feeling of pealing myself of a chair and sitting on the floor and let them pounce on me. I was running and playing catch and dancing to Hanna Montana, or the Wiggles. Life can be amazing if you think of all the possibilities you have right in front of you.
You have yourself a great day!
Jamie
I have started looking at my life the way I look at the world. I am getting better at treating myself, like how I treat others. It's a hard thing to do when your not used to respecting and complimenting yourself. How is your life supposed to change if you can't trust ans love yourself the way you love others?
So I put me in a clear box of frozen time. Visualising every thought that ventures in around my brain. I can see the clutter of fog that has nestled it's self so snug and cozy all over. What's causing it? and how the heck do I get rid f it?
Slowly I have started making changes in my life. Setting small goals for each week, and not getting depressed if it takes longer than a week. Day by day is worth a life time.
I've manged to clean out my basement of just about all the junk that's been sitting down there for about 2 years ago since we built our house. I never realized how much it really did bother me that that space being cluttered was cluttering a part of me.
I just went down and did it! At first I cleaned up little piles at a time and then one day I had this burst of energy and I went down and cleaned until I was done. It took me non stop 5 hours but I did it and I felt so excited it was done! The only thing left was to get rid of baby things and like 5 big bags of trash and 4 big bags of big/prego clothes.
Freeing up so much space in my basement gave new opportunity to turning my life around yet again. I was able to set up a play area for the kids and a small area for my work out stuff. So no more excuses that I can't bring the kids downstairs with me and I never have time to work out because of no space.
Yet another idea, my washer and dryer are down there, so I set up a table to fold the laundry on and to get more exercise out of my day, why not take one pile up at a time to put the clothes away. Not only was I getting exercise I am tackling another thing that bothered me most. I was always searching threw clean laundry basket for clothes that just never got put away. Now even if I don't get to putting them away right away they are folded on my table in the basement and another opportunity to use the stairs!
It's great finding new things that get you motivated and your mind starts to lift some of the fog. So take a look from out side the box approach to my life is continuing to help me achieve many things.
Setting new rules in my house and sticking to them is the best for me and my family. Limited tv time, I used to think that people were crazy, I couldn't survive without the tv being on for the kids. Not anymore I understand now why they say that. Just as anything else we are letting something other than "us" control our minds.
Which brings me to the scale. This week I set a new goal, a life long goal. Put away the scale and start trusting your self. No more weighing into the scale gods a couple days a week or every other week. But to help with getting my mind off of that I put my pedometer on for the first time yesterday to see just how many steps I do in a day.
Shannon gave me some great advise on how to set my goal. She said she marked down the total # of steps taken each day, then at the end of the week (7 days)add them all together and divide them by 7 and that will give you the average steps you take daily. The goal would be to add 500 steps a week until your body feels comfortable to working up to 10,000 steps a day.
I will be doing that and I decided to keep my scale where it is and I figured if I have a paper with the number of steps taken daily as motivation and look in the mirror for my morning pep talk and get my day started on a good note and weigh myself once a month.
Yesterday was a fun filled day! I reached over 10,000 steps, I made it to 10,734 steps! It wasn't hard and I had a blast playing with the kids. It was so enjoyable, not that feeling of pealing myself of a chair and sitting on the floor and let them pounce on me. I was running and playing catch and dancing to Hanna Montana, or the Wiggles. Life can be amazing if you think of all the possibilities you have right in front of you.
You have yourself a great day!
Jamie
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Finding ME!
I have started a new journey and my life is now thriving with new findings. I am finding me! Who I really am. It has been 4 and 1/2 months and I feel I have come a long way in such a short time.
In that time I have lost 48lbs and have a new look at how I have been living my life in a shell. I am learning more and more how to rid myself of my shell. The only way to fix me was to think way back to things that I had buried long ago.
You know when looking at kids and trying to put things simply worded so they can understand and find the correct feelings to match. Well I found that I remember when I was a kid, people were always saying she's over weight and she should start watching what she eats. I remember being at the doctors office and them handing my mom a paper of foods I should stick to and try and keep me away from junk and stuff.
I don't know of my sister and brothers struggles if they even had any with weight growing up. To me they always seemed able to take care of losing the weight and didn't seem much to fuss about back then. I just remember me, I was a kid and how they think. I had no clue what they meant about being over weight, I new I was bigger than other kids but I didn't know why. I can remember kids say oh, Jamie's strong look at her arms how big they are, and how big she is. It was nothing at the time, but when the remarks got harsher and harsher as got older I didn't know how to fix it. Burring myself deeper into a hole. I was already pretty shy but I think I felt safer with food and it helped me to pull away.
Just the other day I was talking with my mom a little about me new finding of my past on whats holding me back, and another thing that happened was I had told her was how I remember always being told I had to finish my food before I even thought of having dessert. I don't blame them because that is how they were raised and their parents were raised during the depression. Food is so readily available these days and the cheaper foods are junk. So no wonder we are all struggling. I also told her that I used to sneak up to the kitchen either when no one was around or sleeping and sneak food to me room. I don't know weather if it was my way of getting a thrill out of trying not to get caught or a way of trying to get attention. Watching my kids watch me and starting to notice little things like because something is there it needs to be eaten. I knew I was really struggling and need to fix it so that my kids don't suffer the way I have.
So, the begging of March I watched on TLC series by Paul McKenna, "I can make you thin". He is a hypnotist but he doesnt hypnotise you, he helps you to learn how to re-boot your mind and pay attention to what you want. It is a simple thing to do. You just need to learn to let go and trust yourself and learn to love yourself. It isn't a diet it is a life style change. You learn that everything your body does is controlled by YOUR mind and YOU have control over it. Don't let other people tell you when to eat what to eat, they don't know your body the way you should know it. We live in a world that is growing on living life fast. We take the time to stop and fill our cars with the correct gas, and we know that if we over fill it it will make a mess, or if we don't fill it enough it will stop working or not go as far. So why treat your body any different.
So with that I highly suggest checking out his web site. Go to www.paulmckenna.com Everything on it is FREE! Start by clicking on the 4 Golden rules. I recently last week stumbled into his forums and there are so many people of many ages and different walks of life that are doing just as I am. There are many subjects listed and you can add your own and so much support from many people. I have made friends with a few ladies. It's been great finding people that understand and can help you to be motivated and it really helps to share your story, and if your like me and have a hard time talking to people, it's great having the Internet, cause nobody knows what you look like and when you write things down it's the real you shining out from under the layers of skin. So I wish the best for anyone wanting to try out Paul's system.
The best advise I think I can give, don't be afraid to try it, don't shy away because your afraid you might not lose weight. Just jump in and do it, no more excuses and believe in your self. Giving up is the easy way out. But proving your self wrong is so much more rewarding.
Thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts, I think I will be keeping a lil blog journal, because it truly has help exposing all my feelings for all to see. I've always have been afraid to say things afraid of what people would say. I am slowly learning to forget all that and learning to let go.
Be well and God Bless!
Jamie (that's me)
In that time I have lost 48lbs and have a new look at how I have been living my life in a shell. I am learning more and more how to rid myself of my shell. The only way to fix me was to think way back to things that I had buried long ago.
You know when looking at kids and trying to put things simply worded so they can understand and find the correct feelings to match. Well I found that I remember when I was a kid, people were always saying she's over weight and she should start watching what she eats. I remember being at the doctors office and them handing my mom a paper of foods I should stick to and try and keep me away from junk and stuff.
I don't know of my sister and brothers struggles if they even had any with weight growing up. To me they always seemed able to take care of losing the weight and didn't seem much to fuss about back then. I just remember me, I was a kid and how they think. I had no clue what they meant about being over weight, I new I was bigger than other kids but I didn't know why. I can remember kids say oh, Jamie's strong look at her arms how big they are, and how big she is. It was nothing at the time, but when the remarks got harsher and harsher as got older I didn't know how to fix it. Burring myself deeper into a hole. I was already pretty shy but I think I felt safer with food and it helped me to pull away.
Just the other day I was talking with my mom a little about me new finding of my past on whats holding me back, and another thing that happened was I had told her was how I remember always being told I had to finish my food before I even thought of having dessert. I don't blame them because that is how they were raised and their parents were raised during the depression. Food is so readily available these days and the cheaper foods are junk. So no wonder we are all struggling. I also told her that I used to sneak up to the kitchen either when no one was around or sleeping and sneak food to me room. I don't know weather if it was my way of getting a thrill out of trying not to get caught or a way of trying to get attention. Watching my kids watch me and starting to notice little things like because something is there it needs to be eaten. I knew I was really struggling and need to fix it so that my kids don't suffer the way I have.
So, the begging of March I watched on TLC series by Paul McKenna, "I can make you thin". He is a hypnotist but he doesnt hypnotise you, he helps you to learn how to re-boot your mind and pay attention to what you want. It is a simple thing to do. You just need to learn to let go and trust yourself and learn to love yourself. It isn't a diet it is a life style change. You learn that everything your body does is controlled by YOUR mind and YOU have control over it. Don't let other people tell you when to eat what to eat, they don't know your body the way you should know it. We live in a world that is growing on living life fast. We take the time to stop and fill our cars with the correct gas, and we know that if we over fill it it will make a mess, or if we don't fill it enough it will stop working or not go as far. So why treat your body any different.
So with that I highly suggest checking out his web site. Go to www.paulmckenna.com Everything on it is FREE! Start by clicking on the 4 Golden rules. I recently last week stumbled into his forums and there are so many people of many ages and different walks of life that are doing just as I am. There are many subjects listed and you can add your own and so much support from many people. I have made friends with a few ladies. It's been great finding people that understand and can help you to be motivated and it really helps to share your story, and if your like me and have a hard time talking to people, it's great having the Internet, cause nobody knows what you look like and when you write things down it's the real you shining out from under the layers of skin. So I wish the best for anyone wanting to try out Paul's system.
The best advise I think I can give, don't be afraid to try it, don't shy away because your afraid you might not lose weight. Just jump in and do it, no more excuses and believe in your self. Giving up is the easy way out. But proving your self wrong is so much more rewarding.
Thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts, I think I will be keeping a lil blog journal, because it truly has help exposing all my feelings for all to see. I've always have been afraid to say things afraid of what people would say. I am slowly learning to forget all that and learning to let go.
Be well and God Bless!
Jamie (that's me)
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